Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Site Update

You know, when I first started this thingy I had a clear goal. Over time that goal has become a lot more cloudy. In the end I'm not exactly sure what this place is anymore. Which subsequently leaves me a bit confused on what kind of stuff I should be putting on here. Of course this has the effect of having me just not putting anything up here. You can see the progression when you look for it. Basically everything continually combines and recombines three things: Journal - Comics - Essay. As you can see more recently Comics have dropped out of the mix and things have mostly been little essays, but then also some journaly essays as well. Which was actually a nice change of pace. In the past I felt that if I wanted to do something I had to do it all myself, but now I think it would be interesting to work more on the writing side and let someone else handle the visuals.

I've had some bigger project I gave a try, but it didn't work out. I was going to make a wee little photocopy book based of those Color Phrases things, but it turned out I wouldn't be able to do it in a way that I wanted to do it. It really wasn't the kind of thing I really wanted to have to settle for. I'm sure some scattered pages from the project will surface on the site eventually.

Recently I've been working on a story. One of my goals for the year was to make a longer form comic. However, after working on it I feel I've created some really interesting characters and pretty decent story. So I'm not yet sure if I actually want to draw it. My drawing abilities really aren't up to par to do it justice. I may give it a try anyway, but I may just write out a script or do it story form and call it good. Don't expect anything of that too soon though.

In better news I've started going through my sketchbook and finishing up all the drawings I started and then never finished. In the very near future (next couple of days) you can expect those to pop up. It is a fairly motley crew of drawings, but it should be interesting and at the very least it will breakup the recent lack of drawings.

And that is how things stand with the site and me in general. If you have any suggestions, comments, requests, things you'd like to see more off, things you hate, things you'd like to see tried, etc. you are encouraged, like always, to tell me. Comments, emails, with your mouth, whatever format you want. Even if I don't do what you suggest I still catalog what people have said in the back of my mind and tend to use it later on later projects, so having suppliers to help fuel the creation of stuff is always appreciated.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Maybe I Am...Maybe I'm Not

       A picture was just drawn of me by my friend Megan to test if she had suddenly developed extraordinary drawing skills since the last time she tried.

       Clearly she has and I suspect if she repeats this test multiple times the results will be the same. Each better than the last.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

You Knew How This Was Going to End

Long story short. A friend asked me to try and create a poem for them using M,R,K,R,W,N,A,S,P,J,R,B,M,D as the letters for the first lines and in that order. So, I figured I'd give it a try.

My, your faces I should remember,
Rosy eyes that spark like embers.
Kind smiles have left their marks across your faces.

Read between those gentle lines,
Wherein your nature defines these signs,
Nurtured in all those loving embraces.

And there I am upon your knees,
Supported by your arms around me.
Promptly then my mind lifts the suspense.

Just like that it all comes clear,
Remembering these faces I hold so dear.
Bound together by this love immense.

May these faces never part,
Defined they are upon my heart.

Took me a while, but I'm kind of proud of it. A little more epic than my usual simple fare. Thus, beaming with childlike pride, I send it to them. To which I get the response "It's nice! and I'm glad it was fun to write." Which I must say was a little disheartening. After all an "It's Nice" followed by a subject shift away from the quality of the item is a tactic parents use when their child presents them with a lame gift...like an clay ashtray...or macaroni tie. Balancing that fine line between making something and dealing with what happens when you put it out there is not one of my strong suits. However, perhaps that is just my lack of experience doing so talking. I should put more stuff out there to build up a resistance.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Phone Pictures

I have just figured out how to get pictures off of my phone. It turns out it is much more of a process than I had thought it would be. It also turns out I have some strange stuff on there. For instance I think these are some sort of knee pads:
Why on earth did I take a picture of that? Answer: No idea. However, what is clear is why I took a picture of a Liz Ruckdeschel book.

Good to see that the kids these days are still reading high quality literature. Raising such intriguing questions as "what if all the boys wanted me?". Although to be fair in my childhood I spent a large amount of time reading books that answered such questions as "what if a group of kids were given the ability to turn into animals in order to fight aliens?", so someone could argue neither is really any better than the other. They would, however, be wrong. An amazon search tells me this is a choose-your-own-adventure book...also the library has it...I just might have to read it and find out.

My final picture is by far the greatest. It can be found in the storage closet at the theater where I work.It is wonderful on so many levels...and I love it.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

By All Rights These Shouldn't Work

      The more you think about it the more you realize that families are the most bizarre systems on the planet. The fact that they kind of work is enough to befuddle the senses. If I were to randomly force people into specific groups, those people would, over time, begin to learn and care about one another, then very soon after they would begin to kill one another. Mercilessly without any remorse. A family is basically the same system except that the murderous rage is most often turned inward, because you just love those...people too much to do anything about it.
      Let's start with the basics. Two people meet and fall in love. This is one of the few relationships in a family that actually makes sense. Because of this it really isn't as true a family bond as the others, as it is the only one that can really end. But regardless it only stands to reason that a person could eventually find someone willing to put up with their shit in exchange for their, hopefully, numerous good qualities and/or nice ass. However, then these two have kids and then things start to get interesting. For now they've taken these random little souls and latched them into this family with no hope of ever truly escaping.
      The first to feel the effects of family-rage are siblings, often times even before they are cognizant. I, for one, was attacked as a wee babe by a hate filled tot of a sister who threw my pacifier out of a window to teach me a lesson. This is a perfect example. Only a family could force a little kid and a baby together, have it result in theft and destruction of property, and then continue putting the two together. Watching siblings gives you a clear idea of the strange dynamics at work in families. The younger ones follow the older ones idolizing them, while the older ones hate the younger ones for bugging them all the time. The younger ones hate the older ones for all the privileges they get and the older ones hate the younger ones for getting more attention. Heaven help the middle ones because they get all the fun of having a siblings whose already done everything without any of the extra attention. Despite this, a person can go on a tirade about how their sibling is a horrible human being and the world would be better without them, but if you were to say something even a tenth as insulting they would pop you square in the jaw. "Who said you could talk about MY sibling that way." Despite its problems it is Your family and there is an inherent pride in ownership.
      This is why family love is so bizarre. It is unconditional and it can't be helped. Somewhere deep down you love your siblings, probably even enough to punch someone else in the face for a slanderous comment, and there is nothing you can do about it. No matter what they do to make you hate them and they will make you hate them. Whether through big things or small. For instance, I'm convinced that my sister has stolen my fire extinguisher. She has also left an amount of nesquik in my cupboards that could kill a mule deer.
      No matter what position they are in siblings have a common enemy: the parents. The same freakish love-hate bonds that bind siblings together seems to be there binding parents to their kids, except stronger and more potent. After all, kids are completely dependent on their parents for years and years. Then even after they aren't "completely dependent" they're still calling for favors and loans and whatnot.
      If childhood is the age where inter-sibling attacks are at their highest, then puberty clearly must be when kid-adult attacks hit their big peak. People often like to imply that teenagers are all angsty and angry because of hormones and changing bodies, but perhaps they've just realized who their family is. Finally gotten to where all the new family smell has worn off and the rose colored glasses are probably still sitting at that diner in Arkansas, even though your mom told you twice to remember them. Around this age you really start to see your parents as the strange random people they really are instead of the epic godlike heroes they once were (and I suppose still are in some sense, but the capes are much harder to spot).
      They have failings, and it is hard not to realize that their failings are probably the root of your failings. In the nature versus nurture debate both sides seem to feature an awful lot of parents. How can you not blame them a little bit? Or a lot a bit? It only makes sense that teens are angry. The world as they know it is falling around them and these parents who used to be so cool, but are really just...human, keep acting like they know better. In amongst the verbal fights something else is learned. Because families spend so much time together very few people will know you as well as your family. This also means that very few people can hurt you in the same way a family member can. The double-edged nature of family continues, as the very people who can hurt you the best are also some of the best at cheering you up.
      And so you have this family. The parents who love their kids unconditionally, but are constantly annoyed and infuriated with their kids trying to undermine what they've done. The kids who secretly idolize their parents, but are often embarrassed/annoyed with their bizarre and numerous failings. And the siblings who stick up for one another, but continually fight each other. Despite all of this, family is one of the only social structures in the world that will truly and genuinely care about you and will never stop. For every yin there must be a yang. For there to be as much love as there is in a family there must also be a lot of hate. I suppose it is just another example of the human condition. We hate because we love. And we love because we hate. Would you really trade one away at the risk of losing the other?