Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Circus Pizza+Usher=Hilarious

Wow...I usually don't post links to videos, but this is just too bloody brilliant to resist. Sure, the Circus Pizza robot singers doing Usher is funny, but to see the hillbilly bear singing, "I wanna make love in this club" is just too much for my humor circuits to take.

Rock-afire Explosion Covering Usher

"Might as well give me a kiss, if we keep touchin' like this
I know you scared baby, They don't know what we doin'
Lets both get undressed right here, keep it up girl I swear, imma give it to you non stop
And I don't care, who's watchin'... watchin'... watchin'
(watchin' watchin'... ohhhh... in this club, on the floor, baby's just makin' love)"
-Make Love In This Club by. Usher

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


I think my letter endeavor is cursed. First I lost my inking pens, then after finding them I soon lost the envelope itself followed by the actual letter. If this trend continues I fully expect to drop dead of a mysterious illness. Then you will be responsible for gathering together a motley crew and investigating.

I got a bit bored today so figured I'd bother Carolyn with silly pictures. Because of her knowledge of Greek stuff I figured I'd go with a Greek monster. Soon after I realized that I have no clue how to actually draw a Sphinx. I have just drawn one and, obviously, I still have no clue. Maybe next time I get bored I can try to show the world how I have no clue how to draw a Gorgon.

Sure Death Race looks pretty crazy. But can it really hope to out-crazy the classic Death Race 2000?

Monday, July 28, 2008

Status Report

So usually I have some update by this time in the week, and here we are with nothing. I was working on one on Sunday to do a Monday update and I pretty much sketched out the idea when I got distracted. I started doodling little personifications of different countries which consumed my imagination and makes me giggle thinking about it. And then I was helping my dad move a bunch of stuff into his new place so that didn't help comic matters. Perhaps I'll get around to it tomorrow, but at the moment I am super sleepy and I think bedtime is in my immediate future.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

A Rant About Hellboy II

I'm kind of bored at the moment, so I figured why not do a post on this here blog. It'll give me something to do. I was just reading the blog of a webcomic I like and he was talking about the things he was looking to in the new Hellboy movie. One of them was about how the new one is more of Guillermo del Toro's (the directors) vision than Mike Mignola's (the creator). That just strikes me as a bizarre thought. "Wow I sure do love Hellboy, but I sure am glad this new movie will be less in the style of Hellboy." Say what?

As my aunt Rosemary can attest I have a few problems with Hellboy II. Don't get me wrong, it is a great movie. The vast majority of the population will not have the same problems with it I did. My annoyances all stem from the fact that I liked Hellboy long before it was ever a movie. So the Hellboy I know and love comes from Mike Mignola's comic. The first Hellboy movie is my second favorite movie (Amelie is number 1) and that's because it sticks to Mignola's version. del Toro has a wonderful imagination and seeing the things he creates is a lot of fun, but Hellboy II sacrifices both the essence of Hellboy and plot to show those imaginative scenes. It might be an interesting take, but it isn't going to make it on my list of favorite movies.

People seem to enjoy that this new movie shows more of the monster world. However, Hellboy is all about a monster in the human world. Plots develop around the idea of the dark creatures that leak into the world of humans. If you want to see a movie about people in a world of monsters there are a ton of movies you can check out: Labyrinth, Neverending Story, Chronicles of Narnia, etc. Personally I've just always preferred movies that reinforce the idea that monsters lurk around in reality: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Signs, pretty much any monster movie ever made, etc. After all that's what makes monsters fun.

In summation Hellboy II is a fun movie. The creature effects/costumes are some of the best I've ever seen. There is a lot of fun humor in it as well. Just don't expect it to be like the first movie. Also don't expect the plot to be great...because it is kind of wimpy. If you've already seen Hellboy II and don't know what I'm talking about when I say the plot of weak, go see The Dark Knight. Then notice how all the action in that movie came from the plot and furthered the plot. Then notice how the same can't be said for Hellboy II.

Mike Mignola Interview
Ebert & Roeper Review

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Half-Sibling Wombmates

I was reading the Wikipedia entry for Hercules when I came across a reference to Heteropaternal Superfecundation. Apparently it is possible for a women to give birth to fraternal half-sibling twins. Obviously it is quite rare, but still pretty interesting.

The entry isn't very long so I recommend checking it out. Give yourself a factoid to boggle some minds at parties.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Then dreamt about in your philosophy."
-Hamlet Act 1, Scene 5

Batman, I Think I Love You

So rarely does a movie shatter my expectations. The Dark Night obliterated them. Now be sure to understand that my expectations were high...very high. I adore Batman Begins so obviously I was excited about this one. Plus the trailer looked amazing, I've only heard great things about it in reviews, and the casting looked spot on. So you should be aware of what I mean when I say that the movie far surpassed anything I could have hoped for. It has made me remember why I love the Batman story so much. Media has clouded Batman with goofy villains and techno color, but these movies strike to the heart of why Batman has such a strong footing in modern day mythology. In case you haven't seen any of the reviews The Onion A.V. Club always has the best reviews of movies. Check it out here.

Thinking about modern day mythical heroes makes me think of Superman, but why is that? Why Superman is higher than even Batman in that mythology. He sucks. Seriously, think about it. He can't be hurt, he can do anything, and he isn't even a human! Even the mythical heroes of long ago are more engaging than Superman. Hercules was a god, but even he was a more human character than Superman.

On a final tangential comic related note: I beg of you all, Stop supporting Frank Miller. He is the only media presence that I openly refuse to support for any reason. For those of you who don't know Frank Miller is a writer and was responsible for the comics Sin City, 300, and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns*. I don't know why any one would want to see his new movie after seeing the trailer for it, but just in case Don't go see The Spirit. In case you don't know why you shouldn't help Frank Miller make money here are some good arguments.
Number 1 - a little comic that pretty much sums it up
Number 2 -the wrongdoings of Sin City
Number 3 -an example of how Frank Miller turned a smart capable women into an object and also a sample of Frank Miller's script that shows how sleazy he really is.
Number 4 & Number 5- a hilarious mocking of Frank Miller's most recent Batman comic. In the words of the mocker, "Frank Miller is still completely off his tits, and his ongoing 'fuck you' letter to comic book fans everywhere is still just as hilariously awful as it's ever been."

*I've read Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and it is nowhere near as good as it is made out to be. Sure it played a part in helping people see that comics can be more than kiddie fare, but Alan Moore's Watchmen did the same thing. Except, of course, Moore used such things as plot, characters, and amazing writing to do this and Miller mostly relied on shock value.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Dinosaurs Love Jam

I gotta side with the girl on this one. Jam can be pricey stuff. Just think about it. Let's say you get yourself a real nice 12oz jar of jam for $6. That's 50c an ounce. 128 fluid ounces in a gallon. So that means that jam is worth $64/gallon. And people think $4/gallon for gas is high. No wonder dinosaurs have to resort to stealing the stuff, poor little fellers.

Dear Mark Tatulli,
In regards to today's Heart of the City comic strip. Did you really think drawing two characters, small enough to easily fit into one panel of a weekday strip, and then placing them on either side of a giant Sunday panel was a artistically pleasing idea? You didn't even bother to draw a background, you just put in a blue gradient. And all for the sack of a simple spinal tap joke? Were you just super lazy this Sunday or what? Usually I enjoy your strip, but for Pete's sack man, put some effort into your work. No one wants to open the Sunday Funnies to see something that a 4 year old could cut and paste on photoshop. If you'd rather spend your time doing other things than working on your comics maybe you should step down from your newspaper post and let someone else in.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Envelope #1

Wow. I received a response letter from the first, and only (sorry guys) prize letter I sent out. I should get on the next one. I was nearly finished with it and then my sister had her baby and it slipped my mind. I'm nearly done with it though, just got to put on the finishing touches. Just to give the other prize winners a taste for what's in store here is a scan I did of the envelope art I did.

I blurred out the address so you bums wouldn't attack them with junk mail...although I don't know why you would. I always have fun when I pull out my kiddy watercolor set. I'm not very good with it, but at least the results are usually interesting. I also like when I can think of a way to fit my initials into the drawing so I don't have to just sign the bottom. It's just so hum-drum.

Hey, I'm 3 for 3, so far this week...wait, Hold My Drink Reginald beat the 12 o'clock mark so that was still Saturday. Damn...well, I guess I'm still 2 for 2, in terms of weekday updates. That's still pretty good.

Will Jesse be able to get another update done for tomorrow? Who is this new foe? Will Maria's evil twin stick Carlos with the check? Tune in tomorrow for the answers to these and other exciting questions!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hot Bod Yellow

This idea popped into my head today, but my first thought was that someone has had to have done this joke before. It's just too simple to have not been done before. Either way I like it.

Watch out for Yellow, fellas. He is a sexy beast and the ladies can't resist.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Hold My Drink, Reginald!

Guess who found their inking pens! That's right, it's me! I also found a comic idea sketched on a scrap of paper.

Although if I had stuck to the scrap's script it would have ended with the line "Take my hand, the Negaverse awaits!" and would have started with illegible words. I just had to use it because the character design for the weirdo makes me laugh.

I want to say more, but I can't think of what else to write. How annoying.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Past & Present

Recently I've been assigning my self one small part of my room to clean everyday. That way it won't be such a daunting task. Today's job was to clean out underneath my bed. While I was under there I came across one of my old sketch books. It was chalk full of embarrassingly horrendous drawings. So, naturally, I thought I should show scan a few to share with you.
Yup. And remember these are the cream of that crop. The rest of the pages are filled with images so shitty I can't bring myself to show anyone else. My favorite being a picture I did practicing doing proportion stuff. It features a little dude with just plain ridiculous proportions and in my excitement at completing such a "great" picture I drew him saying "Wow I'm getting it." Obviously he was far from getting it. The only thing worse than bad pictures is distinctly remembering that you had once thought that picture was awesome.

Then I came across a notebook I had completely forgotten about. It was a little sketch journal I took with me to work last summer. I used it to write down little thoughts with an image to go with it, or sometimes I'd doodle characters to help pass the time on the bus.
I mostly picked some of the character pics because while the silly stuff still cracks me up it requires explanation from me in order to get the joke and I don't want to bother. The late night bus stop haiku, however, is self explanatory. Unlike most old sketch books I actually like a lot of stuff in this one. The most interesting thing is that the stuff I've been drawing now looks nothing like this. Let's take a look at my current sketchbook so you can see what I'm talking about.I hadn't even noticed the shift between trying to do somewhat realistic stuff to more cartoony work. Also why on Earth do the comics I post look worse than my sketches? That seriously doesn't make a whole lost of sense. My only guess is that I'm insane or that I secretly hate you all and thus want to injure your eyes

Ok well I should probably eat something and then get back to work cleaning off my bed.


These are a few of the things that can easily distract me from doing anything productive:

+Having a weird smell on my hands
+Phone calls
+Bizarre trains of thought
+Video games
+Humorous books
+Hot temperatures
+Crossword puzzles
+Thoughts on how I would have done that show differently
+Lost things
+Thoughts about the future
+Annoying bugs
+Shiny objects

But in what order?

oh and I have some stuff all drawn out, but I've lost my inking pens so I'll need to find them before anything else can get done. Stupid mess in my room.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Time to do What?

What? Monday's coming up? Dang, I gotta go draw another comic. I do have one that I'm interested in doing, but at the same time I'd really rather practice guitar. I got a guitar for my birthday so I've been doing what I can to get to some level of skill, but it seems that is a far way off. There is a time and a place for everything and since Monday is going to be here in a few minutes that means I'd better get started on this sucker. Too bad I haven't figured out how to end it yet, eh? Oh well, I can think about it while I do the other panels.

See you all soon enough.

EDIT: Wow, I spent the vast part of today visiting my sister in the hospital, so I wasn't able to finish that comic. On the plus side I'm now an uncle to an amazingly cute little baby. Who knows what madness will come from having a baby in the house, but needless to say don't expect my stuff to be on time...not that you would. At least I have an excuse now.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

!Happy Birthday Jesse!

Yes, today is the day I decided to move out of the cramped apartment of my mother's womb and into the big world. In 1987 on this very day I made my entrance to the planet, just as Canada did 120 years before me on the first of July, 1867. To celebrate I have drawn myself a comic. I'm just nice that way.Oh Mrs. Frizzle. She single handedly makes school worse by showing just how much fun it could be if only you had a magic bus and a magic lady. What a women. You'd better treat her right Mr. Frizzle, you lucky bastard you.

Now I know what you are thinking.
"What can I do to celebrate such an important day like today?

Here are some ideas for you,
-Shoot off some fireworks in my honor
-Dress up in a traditional Jesse outfit
-Take a moment to thank and/or curse your deity for my existence
-Sing Jesse Carols door to door
-Sleep in
-Wear a mask of my face
-Remember WWJD: What Would Jesse Do?

My plans for the day include treating myself to a delicious bagel, drawing on the sidewalks, wearing my suspenders, and eating ribs and malts. And so much more!