Postcards: John Dies at the End

John Dies at the End is one of my absolute favorite books. Unfortunately it's not the greatest movie. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie (so much that I even bought it). However, it could have been better. A lot better.

They nailed the casting and the look and the feel of the book, but they messed up in terms of the story. If they skimmed over the Soy Sauce story-arc (which is the most memorable, but not the best suited for a movie plot) and concentrated more on the parts about Dave's lost time and Amy's role in the story, it would have been SUCH a cooler and creepier movie.

Anyways, the quote on the card is the opening line to both the movie and the book. The sad thing is that the movie pulled the entire storyline that shows the importance of the riddle! Ugh! What? Why?

It's still a fun movie though.

Postcards: Cabin in the Woods

Sure, there's a lot of memorable imagery in Cabin in the Woods, but we all know which scene we think of first.

Postcards: Holes

Trying to come up with an image for Holes is surprisingly tough. You could do a bunch of holes (which would be aesthetically lame), or you could do a yellow-spotted lizard (which just isn't Holesy enough), or Jon Voight looking crazy, or a scene from the movie (also not Holesy enough because it would just look like a bunch of kids in orange jumpsuits standing in the desert), or a corpse with a lipstick kiss on it, or maybe a joke about Dule Hill being in this movie before he became the star of Psych.

Anyways, you see my dilemma.

I'm actually pretty proud of the design I came up with though.

Or should I say...I really DIG it!

...oh...I definitely shouldn't say that? Oops.

Postcards: Evil Dead (2013)

A lot of people have been giving this movie flak, but whatever! I thought it was fun. Is it the best thing under the sun? No. But how can you not like a horror movie that is having so much fun with horror? Plus look at that face! How could you hate a face like that?

Postcards: Pocahontas

There are a lot of things that bother me about Disney's Pocahontas, but there's really only one thing that Visually bothers me: Pocahontas' nose. She doesn't have one! She just has little snake slits in her face. Remind you of anybody?

Clearly Pocahontas was a dark wizard. She was also probably a parselmouth. I mean, she talked with all the other animals, right? It's just the logical conclusion.

Postcards: Beauty & The Beast

No means No, amiright, People?

And wouldn't it have been a much more satisfying movie if at some point Belle had defended herself instead of putting up with Gaston's incredibly inappropriate attitude towards women? I mean, holy crap, I think we all got the sense that if Disney wasn't the puppeteer of this story Gaston would have tried to rape Belle. He saw women as objects to be won and couldn't conceive of a woman who wasn't interested in him. I mean, talk about creepy.

Everyone gets on The Beast's case because he was aggressive, blackmailed Belle's dad, and kind of kidnapped his daughter. But let's be realistic here: he'd been turned into a monster and has been talking to furniture for Lord knows how long. It's fair to assume that he's gone slightly insane and forgotten what does and does not constitute appropriate social interaction. So frankly I'm willing to cut him a break.

People love to hold up this movie as the unsettling example of a story that teaches girls that beastly men can be changed. I couldn't disagree more with that reading. The Beast was a snotty little rich kid who didn't know any better. Instead of teaching him empathy the witch unjustly confines him to solitary, which is the opposite of what he needed! He needed to be away from his family and around normal people; he needed to have the shit kicked out of him and have his heartbroken.

Their strange lens for the story doesn't hold up because 1) The Beast is socially incompetent not a douche like Gaston and 2) Belle doesn't fall for him and then try to change him. She doesn't even want to be around him when he's acting like a jerk. It's only after he starts seeing things from her point of view and trying to be a better person that she warms up to him and realizes that he's not a bad person: he's just a guy who got an incredibly raw deal, is rightly full of anger and resentment about it, and is trying (and succeeding) to be a  better person. She doesn't try to change him, he tries to change himself and she agrees to help him.

So there you go. I've obviously thought about this movie far too much.

Postcards: Silver Linings Playbook

The series continues!

This one got away from me as I was in a rush to get it finished on time, but whatever! It happens.


“I move onward: the only direction / Cant be scared to fail in the search of perfection / ...On to the next one.” 
—“On to the Next One”, Jay-Z

Postcards: Mama

I made a postcard to (hopefully) cheer someone up. If you've seen the movie Mama then this should ring a bell (hopefully). If you haven't seen it then (hopefully) you'll like it anyway! In either case this was the first movie I ever saw with them! Ahh...memories.

Anyways, I'm kind of shocked it turned out so well. I felt a little silly for drawing fanart for a movie like this, but who cares! Sure it's far from the best horror movie around, but— gal-darn-it—I kind of like it anyway. There is a lot of really interesting imagery at work in the film, plus I quite liked the characters. Okay, I also liked the whole premise as well as the ending. So whatever! Think of me what you will.

And you know what? I rather like what this drawing looked like in just Black&White, so I think I'll post that too!

Postcard Extravaganza: #1

To answer your questions: Yes, it has been a long while since I said I'd send people postcards. And Yes, I haven't made much progress on them. And Yes, I still plan to send all you requesters postcards. It's just that my time is often sucked away by 2 part-time jobs, the search for more/better jobs, and doing fun things like reading to distract me from my poverty. But rest assured that before the year is out I will have gotten to them all.

As we have seen I'm doing these rather sporadically, so instead of posting them in set batches—like I did last time—I'm just going to post whatever I've done whenever I feel like it.

Here's the first card! It was for my cousin Natasha.




Hopefully number two will be along shortly, but it is taking me forever. It involves drawing a lot of things that I am horrible at drawing and thus I have started to become afraid of working on it. But I already have thumbnails for 3 & 4 so after I conquer my fears the cards of the second card the next few should should flow out much quicker.

Professionalism & Dinosaur Stamps

        There's something eerie about applying for a job you've applied for in the past. Especially when the last time you applied you never heard back from them. It's like calling out to someone in the dark. When you call out to them the first time you have a hope that they'll respond. Yet you're met with silence and so you call out again. This time a little of that hope is gone and a little more doubt takes hold. Who knows what will happen? Maybe someone will call back, maybe something will attack from the darkness, or maybe you'll just be met with silence once again.

        You might remember that I've applied to the MCAD Art Cellar&Bookstore before. It did not go over as planned. Apparently demonstrating being a fun personality and easy conversationalist isn't the right plan for a situation like this. But the position is open again and thus I am back again. This time I've scaled back my approach and made the whole thing a little more professional. However, I am not good at wearing suits and sending out boring job applications. No sir. My ties have the three stooges on them and my job applications have fancy fonts and dinosaur stamps!

Because, ladies and gentleman, that is just how I roll.

Card Zero

I am nothing if not prepared (pause for laughter), so before starting to draw some postcards I decided to create a test card. That way I could be sure that: A) it gets to its destination, and B) it arrives in one piece. At first I was just going to scrawl the word "testing" all over it and then send it on its way. However, after doing that a couple times I decided to make it harder on myself by trying to actually make it look halfway interesting.


Anyways, it made it through the post office and safely to its destination. Well, technically that isn't exactly true; it had a little scratch and a little tear in it, but for the most part it arrived in good condition.

This means that I can now start working my way through this list. Actually I've already started, so we'll see how long it'll take me to get a batch of them sent out. Be warned that I'm currently employed, trying to study for the GRE, about to move, and somewhat lazy. However, I'll try to be as quick as I can.

For all you fashionably late people, I should mention that I'm still taking requests and will be doing so until I explicitly state otherwise. So if you still want a postcard, you can definitely still get one.

Anyways, sorry for the lackluster posting this month. To make it up to you here are some postcards I made as Christmas gifts for my aunt Rosemary.

These two were actually made on different card stock than the kind I'm using for the Extravaganza cards. You might remember it from that Charles Schulz card I made. You might also remember that I hate it and it ruins everything. Luckily my aunt has helped me find an alternative and thus it is because of her that your cards will look much nicer. She has my most sincere thanks for all her help with this project.

Will Work 4 Money

Yep, I'm still sending out job applications. The one featured here is for the position of a Clerk/Cashier (a position I like to call "Clashier"). This time I'll even give you a taste of the cover letter I sent with it.


“Because this position is for a Bookstore, I should mention that I am, in fact, literate. Now I know what you are thinking, ‘How can we be sure you are literate and not merely paying a relative to read this job posting to you and take your dictation for the application?’ A good question. But would a relative of mine be able to correctly spell 'Cincinnati'? I think not.”

Since this position is also for an Art Cellar, I should mention that I can, in fact, art. The envelope this letter came in will depict that I am familiar with both art materials and processes. Now I know what you are thinking, ‘How can we be sure you didn't just hire a relative to create that envelope art for you?’ Another good question. But would a relative of mine have had the forethought to hide the word 'Cincinnati' in the lower left-hand corner? I think not.”


The mere fact that I have enough free time to make things like this is proof that I need a job.

Give Me The Job!

Earlier in the year I tried to get a job as a Reference Assistant at the Minnesota History Center. I came pretty close, but ultimately didn't make the cut. However, a new reference assistant position has opened up! Thus I am making a second attempt. This time I'm going all out. Will a decorative envelope be enough to impress the people in HR? Probably not. Will that stop me from doing it anyway? Never!

Front-

Back-

Because I'm not sure what kind of postage this thing required (61¢ in case you were curious) I took it to the Post Office. However, it turns out the Post Office does not appreciate it when you mess with addresses. Here is an approximate transcript of me getting told off:

[The man at the Post Office looks at it for a couple seconds.]
Post Man: "So is this the zip code here off to the side?

Jesse: "Yep."

Post Man: "I get that you think you're being cute or whatever, but it messes with our system when you don't put the zip code in the proper place."

Jesse: "Ummm...yeah, but I put the full address on the back as well, so I thought it'd be okay."

Post Man: "Look. The zip code goes right after the city and state" [he points to the right of the city and state] "or underneath them" [he points to underneath them] "When you mess around like this the computer can't scan it right and it could end up anywhere. Okay?"

Jesse: "Uhhh, sure...I'm not too worried about it though."

Post Man: "I'm just trying to help you. I mean I'm sure you don't want your stuff to end up in Tallahassee or where ever."

Jesse: "...Uh...thanks. So how much is it?"

-End of Transcript-

Since I never make a fuss in person, preferring to silently fume about it, I'm gonna take a moment say a couple things.

1) Zip code properly placed or not, if a computer could make sense of an address this off beat I'd be throughly impressed.

2) The guy noticed the zip code's location in 2 seconds. I would imagine if the computer can't make sense of it, then a person will end up looking at it and 2 seconds later it'll be on its way.

3) Tallahassee? The History Center is like 10 miles away from that Post Office. If the United States Postal Service misses its target by 1,300 miles then they aren't anywhere near as competent as I gave them credit for. So really, Mr. Post Man, you are pointing out your own failures and not mine...dick.


Well, with any luck my envelope will get to its intended locale and not stop off for a stint in Florida's capital. With some even more luck I will get the job. Here's hoping.

Letter Extravaganza '09: Part 7

And thus we come to the end. After putting it off for a long time I have completed the last couple of letters. I know I had said that I was doing 35 letters, but things change and thus the final count is 34. Which means that I've written about 136 pages of correspondence, drawn 34 different envelope designs, and used about $16.58 in postage.

All in all it was a lot of fun. I'm not sure why I decided to name it "Letter Extravaganza '09" and then start it in November. A really odd choice, I'll admit. But regardless it was pretty fun. Plus it motivated me to make some pretty cool art that I'm quite proud of...also a couple that didn't turn out as I had hoped, but let's not talk about those ones.

Thank you to everyone who wanted a letter, I'm sorry it took so long, you folks are the best!

Thank you to everyone who had some kind words to share regarding the project.

Thank you to the post office for handling all the deliveries and putting up with some really odd envelopes.

And special shout outs to Stacy Brownhill, Hannah Camfield-Bronstein, Kristen Crandell, Mary Davis, and Rianna Robertson for sending me letters back! You ladies are too awesome for words.

In case you want to peruse all the envelopes again, here are the links.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Any favorites?


31.


32.

33.


34.

Letter Extravaganza '09: Part 6

        30 letters down and 5 remaining. Those last few are pretty much all late responders so I don't feel as bad about their long wait. Regardless it will be nice to be done. I've actually gotten a couple of letters back and once I finish up the list I can get on to sending those awesome people some replies.

        Anyways, I'm quite fond of this new batch as it was a lot of fun to do. I still made some mistakes (as usual), but I could have made much worse ones. It is almost like the more of these I do the better I get. Who'd have thought?

        In case you don't read my twitter updates, for the month of April you can expect to see a new post every day. Might be a story, might just be a picture, might be a little bit of who-knows-what. But rest assured you'll see something new. A little make-up gift for my lackluster posting as of late.


26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

Supernatural (#29) is copyright Eric Kripke and Warner Brothers.

[EDIT] oops...totally forgot to mention that Spirited Away's Kaonashi(#28) is copyright Studio Ghibli, and/or Hayao Miyazaki, and/or Toho, and/or Walt Disney Pictures...I'm having a hard time figuring it out, but it is probably one of those.

Package Art

I've got the next batch of envelopes done, but I've got to give a few days for delivery. In the mean time here is a picture of a package I sent awhile back. Truly it was an epic package.

Letter Extravaganza '09: Part 5

        I am only actually certain that one of these got delivered, but I'm going to go ahead and post it anyways because it has been long enough. It will really suck if I finish this project and find out the majority of these things didn't even make it to where they were supposed to. However, I will keep hope alive until that time. I thought I'd have the next batch done by the time I posted this one, but turns out you can get burned out on letter writing and I've needed a bit of a break. Although, as this post it a testament to, I am back on the wagon and back to work. There are only a couple more I need to finish so we shall see how long it takes me to finish that batch. These will have to sustain you in the meantime.

21.


22.

23.


24.

25.

Letter Extravaganza '09: Part 4

      It's time for a new batch of letters! I'm happy to report that this batch puts me over the 50% hump and on my way into the home stretch. Hard to imagine that there are only 3 more batches until I'm done. Truthfully I'm looking forward to it. Not because I'm not enjoying writing letters, but just because I feel kind of bad for taking my sweet ass time writing them.
      I'm sorry! I'll get back to work on the next batch right away.


16.


17.

18.

19.

20.

Unicorns Vs. Narwhals (#17 even though I forgot to number that one *cough*) is copyright Adrian Molina and his outstanding animated short can be seen here. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (#20) was written by Lewis Carroll; its copyright has expired, but credit where credit is due.

Letter Extravaganza '09: Part 3

     15 letters done! I've sent more letters since I started this thing than most people probably send all year and yet I'm not even halfway done. 20 letters stand between me and the completion of this project. I probably should stop marking them #/102, but I don't feel like it.
     I'm getting better at these envelopes though...at least I think I am. The people further down on the list should be pleased that although they have to wait longer, their finished product will be much more refined. To think when I made the offer of free letters I wasn't even planning on doing envelope art. A handy fact which gives me an excuse for why I thought I'd be able to complete this project rather quickly. Oh how wrong I was.
     Well, until I manage to work my way through another 5 letters, enjoy.

11.

12.
13.
14.
15.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (#12) are copyright Nickelodeon. While Mr. Peabody and Sherman (#15) are copyright Ward Productions Inc.

Letter Extravaganza '09: Part 2

Although I'm finding out that I'm quite slow at this whole letter writing thing, I'm still trucking away at it. Here's the next batch of envelop designs. Introducing a new size in envelope that actually fits my letters (a novel idea I know). This is the batch where my tools decided to die. I lost like 3 markers and a pen, may they rest in peace. Eventually I will stop being lazy and get to an art store and get some new stuff.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.
I should probably mention that Mario and his cronies (#8) and Link (#9) are copyright Nintendo, while the character Avatar Aang (#10) is copyright Nickelodeon...so mad props to them.