Sunday, October 1, 2017

31 Days of Spooky Movies: The ABCs of Death

Day #29

The ABCs of Death

A series of 26 short films, each done by a different director and each centering around a word that starts with a different letter of the alphabet.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Wasted Evenings

Gore Factor:
4 / 5 Cheap  Gross-outs

Should you watch it?

Let me tell you something, dear readers: I Hated this movie.

Correction: I still hate this movie!


I would gladly rewatch any of the other terrible horror movie Ive watched during all my years of doing these 31 Days of Spooky Movies challenges rather than watch this shitstorm again.

My friends warned me that this movie was awful, but I didnt listen! It just sounded like such an interesting premise that I just had to see it for myself. And it turns out that not only is this movie powerfully stupid and incredibly boring, but its also not at all scary. Sure some of the shorts are quite gory, but—as you may have already guessed by how I divide my ratings—gory is a very different creature than scary.

As Steven King says in his book Danse Macabre, “I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, Ill go for the gross-out. Im not proud. ”

And the real nail in the coffin, the real mind-numbing thing about the movie isn’t that it’s incredibly vapid and dumb (although it is): it’s that it’s 26 incredibly vapid and dumb movies! You’re forced to experience one confused disappointment after another in some sort of cruel, torturous, and seemingly never-ending parade...

I dont know what else to say...

Fuck this movie.

“F is for Fart”

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