The keen-eyed readers may notice a giant batch of missing entries in the numbering and that is because those were all movies watched for 31 Days of Spooky Films 2015. As you all already know I am so very lazy and not about to bother reviewing them all twice! So feel free to check them out over there.
As for this batch? I don’t know about you, but I think that any movie list that starts with a horror film about vagina dente and ends with a muppet christmas movie is a pretty interesting list of films. But that's just me.
“Have a great time at the movies, dear! *muah*”
131
Teeth
2007
When a girl in high school becomes the target of unwanted sexual advances, she discovers she has a rather unusual mutation to protect herself with.
Starring: Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Vivienne Benesch, Hale Appleman
This movie is...
really weird, but kind of brilliant. It actually does a pretty good job in pointing out some of the dangers that women have to constantly be worried about in this f***ed-up society of ours.
“Every rose has its thorns.”
132
食神
[The God of Cookery]
1996
A famous chef falls from grace and must reignite his love of cooking in order to make it back on top.
Starring: Stephen Chow, Vincent Kok, Karen Mok
This movie is...
structurally pretty similar to Shaolin Soccer, but a fair bit less refined. Still fun if you’re a Stephen Chow fan though.
“I’m ugly? What has this got to do with my appearance?”
“How can I have an appetite when I see your appearance?”
* 133 *
喜劇之王
[King of Comedy]
1999
An aspiring actor can’t seem to land a role and is forced to try and teach acting to the locals in his neighborhood.
Starring: Stephen Chow, Karen Mok
This movie is...
a little rough at times, but I kind of love it. There are a couple scenes in this thing that never fail to make me laugh til it almost hurts and unlike most of Stephen Chow’s movies its romance angle is actually well developed.
“You needn’t lock onto others with your thighs every time you hug.”
* 134 *
Batman:
The Movie
1966
It’s up to Batman and Robin to save the day when their deadliest foes team up to wreck havoc upon the world.
Starring: Adam West, Burt Ward, Lee Meriwether, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, Alan Napier
This movie is...
probably the downright campiest thing I’ve ever seen. Also the past three times I’ve watched this movie I’ve fallen asleep before the end. Although to be fair, I keep trying to watch it late at night and after a couple of drinks...
“They may be drinkers, Robin, but they’re still human beings.”
* 135 *
WarGames
1983
A young hacker accidentally activates nuclear defense program that’s set to initiate WWIII. That is...unless he can find a way to stop it.
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, John Wood, Dabney Coleman, Barry Corbin
This movie is...
over 30 years old and still FANTASTIC. I mean it’s got a young Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy in it! What more could you want?
“The whole point was to find a way to practice nuclear war without destroying ourselves. To get the computers to learn from mistakes we couldn’t afford to make. Except, I never could get Joshua to learn the most important lesson.”
“What’s that?”
“Futility. That there’s a time when you should just give up.”
“What kind of a lesson is that?”
“Did you ever play tic-tac-toe?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“But you don’t anymore.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a boring game. It’s always a tie.”
“Exactly. There’s no way to win. The game itself is pointless! But back at the war room, they believe you can win a nuclear war. That there can be ‘acceptable losses.’”
* 136 *
Super 8
2011
A group of kids in 1979 try to film a scene for their home movie at a train yard, but end up witnessing something they were never meant to see. And when strange things start happening in town, they’re the only ones who can uncover the truth.
Starring: Joel Courtney, Kyle Chandler, Elle Fanning, Riley Griffiths, Ryan Lee, Gabriel Basso, Zach Mills, Joel McKinnon Miller
This movie is...
pretty remarkable on a whole lot of levels.
“I’m just doing the best I can to save you.”
* 137 *
Hot Rod
2007
Stuntman Rod Kimble tries to raise the money for his step-father’s surgery by performing the biggest jump the town has ever seen. The only problem? He’s really not a very good stuntman.
Starring: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Sissy Spacek, Ian McShane, Isla Fisher, Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Will Arnett, Chris Parnell
This movie is...
my go-to movie when I’m in need of a good laugh.
“Life is pain - we’ve got to scrape the joy from it every chance we get.”
138
American Mary
2012
A promising med student doesn't have enough money to pay her tuition and starts performing illegal surgical procedures in order to raise the funds.
Starring: Katharine Isabelle, Antonio Cupo, Tristan Risk
This movie is...
not a good movie even despite the fact that Katharine Isabelle is the star.
“I’m changing specialties, Dr. Grant. Have you ever heard of body modification?”
* 139 *
となりのトトロ
[My Neighbor Totoro]
1988
A family moves into a new home and discovers that a mysterious creature known as Totoro lives in the woods by their home.
Starring: Noriko Hidaka, Chika Sakamoto, Shigesato Itoi, Sumi Shimamoto, Hitoshi Takagi
This movie is...
pretty much the cutest thing ever.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are!”
* 140 *
Ghostbusters
1984
When a group of paranormal investigators invent a way to capture ghosts they become a hotshot team of ghost exterminators. But when an ancient evil threatens to unleash hell on Earth, who are you gonna call?
GHOSTBUSTERS!
Starring: Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Rick Moranis, Annie Potts, William Atherton
This movie is...
always funner than I remembered it being and I always remember it being funny.
“There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.”
“What?”
“Don’t cross the streams.”
“Why?”
“It would be bad.”
“I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, ‘bad?’”
“Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.”
“Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.”
141
Between the Folds
2008
A documentary about the science of origami.
This movie is...
really interesting, but also makes me feel rather stupid.
“Origami is just such a great way to get your hands dirty with math.”
142
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
2012
A giant meteor is discovered on a collision course with Earth. With only a week left before all life is wiped out, a depressed man teams up with his neighbor to go on a trip to meet up with their loved ones.
Starring: Steve Carell, Keira Knightly
This movie is...
way more dramatic than I was expecting. Which turned out to be a great thing, because it was all the better because of it.
“OK, what we’re getting now is - yes, they’re saying it was in fact a fire that erupted inside the external tank of the ship, exactly ninety-eight seconds after it entered the asteroid field. No one is sure what caused the fire which led to the massive explosion, killing all twelve crew members and scientists aboard the space shuttle Deliverance, taking with them our last and only hope. Once again, if you’re just tuning in, the CSA space shuttle Deliverance has been destroyed. The final mission to save mankind has failed. The seventy mile wide asteroid known commonly as Matilda is set to collide with Earth in exactly three weeks time, and we’ll be bringing you up-to-the-minute coverage of our countdown to the ‘End of Days,’ along with all your classic rock favorites. This is Q 107.2.”
143
Welcome to Me
2014
A mentally ill woman wins the lottery and uses the money to create and star in her own television show.
Starring: Kristen Wiig, Linda Cardellini, Wes Bentley, Joan Cusack, James Marsden, Tim Robbins
This movie is...
a good choice if you want to spend 1h37m feeling uncomfortable.
“I was a summer baby born in 1971 in Simi Valley, California, and I’ve been using masturbation as a sedative since 1991-”
* 144 *
Maverick
1994
A card-loving con-man needs to rustle up quite a lot of money in order to enter a huge poker tournament.
Starring: Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, James Garner, Alfred Molina, Graham Greene
This movie is...
pretty much the only Mel Gibson movie I can still manage to enjoy. It’s just that much fun! Plus it’s a western that actually portrays native americans in a really positive light. I mean, Graham Greene! How can you not love a movie with Graham Greene?
“Oh, you sure do pick the spots.”
“Yeah, I know. You know the next time you [white] people come and drive us off our land I’m gonna find a nice piece of swamp that’s so God-awful, maybe then you’ll leave us the hell alone.”
145
Dear White People
2014
When a student uses her radio show as a platform to confront the racism at her prestigious university it results in backlash that polarizes the campus.
Starring: Tessa Thompson, Tyler James Williams, Teyonah Parris, Brandon P. Bell, Kyle Gallner, Dennis Haysbert
This movie is...
alright and has a lot of great elements, but the whole thing just seemed like it could have been amazing if they had told one complete story instead of 4 partial ones.
“Your show is racist.”
“Black people can’t be racist. Prejudice, yes, but not racist. Racism describes a system of disadvantage based on race. Black people can’t be racist since we don’t stand to benefit from such a system.”
146
Kill Me Three Times
2014
A intertangled web of sin creates a mad knot that might require some people to die in order to undo.
Starring: Alice Braga, Callan Mulvey, Luke Hemsworth, Simon Pegg, Teresa Palmer, Sullivan Stapleton, Bryan Brown
This movie is...
essentially what you’d get if you took an astoundingly cliche crime movie and Simon Pegg kept wandering into it from out of a vastly superior comedy wherein he played a hit man.
“FUCK ME! I can’t believe I’m going to die in this place.”
147
Song of the Sea
2014
A young boy blames his little sister for the loss of their mother, but must become her protector when magical forces try to claim her.
Starring: David Rawle, Lucy O'Connell, Brendan Gleeson, Lisa Hannigan, Fionnula Flanagan
This movie is...
pretty great. It was done by the same people who did The Secret of Kells! So the art/animation is so pretty. But unlike that movie, this one has an actual plot!
“All of us are connected. And we’ll all share in her fate.”
148
The Odd Couple
1968
When Oscar believes his friend Felix to be suicidal he insists he stay at his place until he can get back on his feet. However, their very different personalities soon start to drive one another crazy.
Starring: Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau
This movie is...
yet another Jack Lemmon movie that I thought was supposed to be a pure comedy and then ended up dealing with suicide! Why does this keep happening!?
“I can’t take it anymore, Felix, I’m cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you’re not here, the things I know you're gonna do when you come in irritate me. You leave me little notes on my pillow. Told you 158 times I can’t stand little notes on my pillow. ‘We’re all out of cornflakes. F.U.’ Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Ungar!”
* 149 *
West Side Story
1961
A modern retelling of Romeo & Juliet, where tensions erupt between two rival gangs in New York City after two of their member fall in love.
Starring: Richard Beymer, Natalie Wood, Russ Tamblyn, Rita Moreno, George Chakiris, Ned Glass
This movie is...
one of my very favorite musicals.
“ ‘ Life can be bright in America.’
‘If you can fight in America.’
‘Life is all right in America.’
‘If you’re all white in America. ’ ”
150
Arsenic and Old Lace
1944
A man brings his new wife to meet his elderly aunts and discovers that they've developed a nasty habit of murdering sad and pathetic men.
Starring: Cary Grant, Priscilla Lane, Josephine Hull, Jean Adair, Raymond Massey, John Alexander, Peter Lorre
This movie is...
pretty enjoyable, but overall a bit forgettable.
“Look I probably should have told you this before but you see... well... insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops.”
151
The Mummy
1932
Some archaeologists accidentally revive an evil mummy. Now the mummy is murdering people and trying to resurrect the spirit of his dead girlfriend into the body of a modern lady!
Starring: Boris Karloff, Zita Johann, Arthur Byron, David Manners, Leonard Mudie
This movie is...
okayish? I guess. But the ending? The ending is just straight-up DUMB.
“Well, let’s see what’s inside!”
152
Road House
1989
A man takes a job trying to cool down the riff raff of a small town bar, but winds up the target of the local mogul / resident douche.
Starring: Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Ben Gazzara, Red West, Keith David, Marshall Teague, Sam Elliot
This movie is...
entertaining through and through. Do yourself a favor and go watch Road House with a friend ASAP. :)
“All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One: never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two: take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three: be nice.”
* 153 *
The Iron Giant
1999
A gigantic robot from outer space crashlands in 1950s Maine. With the Cold War tensions in full swing it's up to a young boy named Hogarth to protect the giant from the fear and aggression of the world.
Starring: Eli Marienthal, Vin Diesel, Jennifer Aniston, Harry Connick Jr., Christopher McDonald, John Mahoney
This movie is...
one of my favorite movies.
“You are who you choose to be.”
160.
Take Shelter
2011
A man begins to suffer from a all-consuming paranoia of a coming deadly storm. But when his growing obsession threatens to tear his family apart, he is forced to confront the possibility that he might be developing the same schziophrenia his mother did.
Starring: Michael Shannon, Jessica Chastain, Tova Stewart, Shea Whigham, Katy Mixon
This movie is...
one of the best movies I have ever seen. Just...holy crap is it ever good.
“I’ve been having these dreams...I guess they’re more like nightmares...”
175.
Sphere
1998
A strange unidentified craft is discovered at the bottom of the ocean and a crew is sent to investigate it. But when things turn deadly will anyone even be able to report what they find?
Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone, Samuel L. Jackson, Liev Shreiber Peter Coyote, Queen Latifah
This movie is...
kind of stupid.
“I want a full name for my report. I’m not putting in my report that I lost a crew member on a deep-sat expedition to find an alien named ‘Jerry.’”
* 185. *
Back to the Future
1985
A mad scientist accidentally sends his teenage sidekick backwards in time whereat he accidentally prevents the incident that led to his parents falling in love and now he’s gotta patch up the damage or he’ll cease to have ever been born!
Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover, Thomas F. Wilson, Claudia Wells
This movie is...
80s comedy at its finest.
“If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you’re gonna see some serious shit.”
* 186. *
Back to the Future:
Part II
1989
Marty McFly and Doc Brown journey to the future in order to try and save Marty’s future son from a life behind bars, but their actions lead to trouble when Biff gets a hold of the time machine and changes everything. Now our heros are going to have to journey through Past, Present, and Future in order to set things right.
Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Thomas F. Wilson, Elisabeth Shue
This movie is...
about going to the year 2015! And I watched it on the day they went to!
LIFE GOAL: Accomplished
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
193.
Meet the Patels
2014
After a failed serious relationship a man decides to let his Indian parents attempt to arrange a marriage for him and he documents the experience with the help of his sister.
Starring: Ravi Patel, Geeta Patel
This movie is...
really quite fun, but I’ve gotta admit that I found the ending to be a bit lackluster.
“How do we...uh...how do we want to do this?”
“Just start at the beginning of the story.”
“Right...”
201.
The Salton Sea
2002
A meth-head snitch tries to take down a notorious drug dealer in a crime-ridden world where nothing is as it seems.
Starring: Val Kilmer, Vincent D'Onofrio, Deborah Kara Unger, Peter Sarsgaard
This movie is...
pretty much exactly what you’d get if you let a bunch of high school boys write/produce a Hollywood movie.
It was also the very last movie shown as part of my very favorite film series called “The Defenders!” It was this awesome thing the local microcinema did where once a month a notable people from the community would chose a bad movie to screen and then have to defend it and the audience would have no idea what the film was beforehand and half the proceeds went to charity. It was like my favorite thing, and I loved it, and I’m still a little bitter that they don’t do it anymore.
“My name is Tom Van Allen...or Danny Parker...maybe you can decide who I am. Keep your eyes open; nothing is as it seems.”
202.
Serbuan Maut
[The Raid]
2011
An Indonesian SWAT team infiltrates an apartment building controlled by a ruthless crime lord, but soon discovers that they’re outgunned and outmatched. Trying to take down a criminal empire was hard enough, but now they’ll be lucky if they can just make it out of the building alive.
Starring: Iko Uwais, Doni Alamsyah, Yayan Ruhian
This movie is...
really friggin’ boring for most of the time. Eventually they get to some pretty cool fight scenes, but at what cost!?
“Okay, listen up. Our target is Tama Riyadi. I’m sure most of you know who I’m talking about. This man has become something of a legend in the underworld. Pushers, gangs, killers, they all respect him like a god. For the past 10 years his building has been a no-go zone for police. I don’t care how big he is or who is behind him, he must be stopped. That enterprising fuck’s been renting out rooms like it’s an apartment. To any low-life piece of shit looking to keep his head down. Our mission is simple. We go in, and we take him out!”
203.
The Raid 2: Berandal
[The Raid 2]
2014
The hero of the first raid movie must go deep undercover in order to protect those closest to him and bring down a crime family.
Starring: Iko Uwais, Arifin Putra, Tio Pakusadewo, Yayan Ruhian, Alex Abbad, Julie Estelle, Very Tri Yulisman, Oka Antara
This movie is...
a million times more enjoyable than the first one, and chalk full of martial arts fun. I mean, it has a deadly baseball assassin! How could anyone not want to see that?
“It’s a matter of limitation. The the importance of knowing yours.”
* 204. *
ウォーターボーイズ
[Waterboys]
2001
A group of high school boys want to be part of a swim club, but accidentally find themselves in a synchronized swimming club instead. Faced with rising peer pressure the boys must make a choice: continue with the club, lose all social status, and have fun; or quit while they still can.
Starring: Satoshi Tsumabuki, Hiroshi Tamaki, Akifumi Miura, Kôen Kondô, Takatoshi Kaneko, Aya Hirayama, Naoto Takenaka
This movie is...
a lot of fun and a really great story about doing what you love and dissecting what it really means to be “Cool.”
“So you make a fool of yourself. Better than feeling worthless your whole life.”
205
Playing it Cool
2014
A writer who thinks he is incapable of love, etc. etc. Romantic comedy.
Starring: Chris Evans, Michelle Monaghen, Topher Grace, Aubrey Plaza, Luke Wilson, Martin Starr, Anthony Mackie, Philip Baker Hall
This movie is...
not very good. Which is especially disappointing considering the cast. It gives itself so very many ways to break out of the mold and take the story in unique directions, but without fail it would always veer back to every rom-com cliche possible.
“Love is like your 401k, it matches your investment. You love a little, you’re loved a little.”
206.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
2011
An American remake of the Swedish film adaptation of a novel about a disgraced journalist and an anti-social computer hacker who team up to solve a missing persons case.
Starring: Rooney Mara, Daniel Craig, Christopher Plummer
This movie is...
not up to par with the Swedish version. This one totally tried to make Blomquist more of a hero and lessen the bad-assitude of Lisbeth. Which defeats the whole great set-up the story is supposed to have!
“You will be investigating thieves, misers, bullies. The most detestable collection of people that you will ever meet—my family. ”
* 207-209. *
STAR WARS:
episodes I-III
1999, 2002, 2005
A mysterious and sinister figure instigates an intergalactic war while a knight-in-training tries protect a young boy with a dangerous destiny from those who would bend him to their will.
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmed, Christopher Lee, Frank Oz, Samuel L. Jackson
These movies are...
a lot better than I had been giving them credit for. I mean, the direction and dialogue are godawful, but when you take a step back from them you’ve gotta give Lucas a lot of credit for what he was trying to do and the story at work under the madness. If nothing else Ewan McGregor’s Obi-wan is perfection.
“You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!”
* 210-212. *
Star Wars:
Episodes IV-VI
1997, 1980, 1983
A princess, a farmboy, and a smuggler band together to defeat an evil emperor. And maybe, just maybe, learn a little something about themselves in the process.
Starring: Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Han Solo, James Earl Jones/David Prowse, Alec Guinness, Peter Mayhew, Ian McDiarmed, Peter Cushing, Billy Dee Williams, Frank Oz
These movies are...
basically my favorite movies of all time.
“I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.”
“You’re who?”
* 213. *
Strange Brew
1983
Two idiot brothers get a job in a brewery only to discover that something nefarious is at work in this modern (and thoroughly Canadian) retelling of Hamlet.
Starring: Dave Thomas, Rick Moranis, Lynne Griffin, Max von Sydow, Paul Dooley, Angus MacInnes
This movie is...
one of my favorite dumb movies, and I finally got a chance to see it on the big screen!
“I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side of the Force, you knob. ”
“He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.”
214.
Star Wars: Episode VII
The Force Awakens
2015
A scavenger and a traitor discover their fates are intertwined when it falls on them to save the galaxy.
Starring: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Harrison Ford, Peter Mayhew, Carrie Fisher, Domhnall Gleeson, Lupita Nyong'o, Anthony Daniels, Andy Serkis, Mark Hamill
This movie is...
a beat-for-beat rip-off of A New Hope. But it did add some much, much needed diversity to the franchise. And if the worst thing I can say about it is that it’s too much like my favorite movie, then that’s not all that bad.
“We’ll figure it out. We’ll use the Force.”
“THAT’S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS!”
* 215. *
National Lampoon’s
Christmas Vacation
1989
A man tries to throw a good ol’ fashioned Christmas for his family, but instead creates the holidays from hell.
Starring: Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Juliette Lewis, Johnny Galecki, Randy Quaid, Miriam Flynn, Julia Louis-Dreyfus
This movie is...
hilarious. It is also s shockingly accurate depiction of how the holidays can feel sometimes.
“I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”
* 216. *
The Muppet Christmas Carol
1992
The Muppets bring you the classic Christmas tale of a rich old miser with no thought of others who is cursed to be visited by a triumvirate of ghostly apparitions who are to give him one last chance to change his fate.
Starring: Michael Caine & The Muppets
This movie is...
the greatest Christmas movie ever created. It’s so good I’ll watch it when it isn’t even Christmas.
“My name is Charles Dickens.”
“And my name is Rizzo the Rat...wait a second! You’re not Charles Dickens!”
“I am too!”
“No! A blue furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat?”
“Absolutely!”
