[BAD] = bad movie watched for laughs and/or groans.
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
A group of British seniors move to a retirement hotel in India; each for their own various reasons. While there they learn about life, love, and maybe, just maybe...a little bit about themselves.
Genre: Feel Good Old Person Travel Comedy/Drama
Normally I would never have bothered seeing this, but it was playing at the theater I work at so I figured why not.
I think it's pretty safe to say that I am not the intended audience for this movie. But I saw it anyway, so there you have it. So take what I have to say with a grain of salt.
I don't really know what to say anyways. It's pretty much what you'd expect from a movie like this. Someone dies. Some others fall in love. Some learn things about themselves that they never knew. It's all pretty standard.
I loved that the movie was set in India. But I could've done without all the standard stereotypes. Oh, the food gives them the shits! Hahaha...India. Oh, the head bobble, what does it mean!? Hahaha...India. Oh, this guy wants to marry the woman he loves, but his overbearing mother doesn't approve and wants him to enter into an arranged marriage. Hahaha...India.
Although I have to admit it does take up the other side and argue for the great things about India as well, so I guess I can't complain too much about that.
My biggest problem is that inevitably the white people save the day and solve the Indian peoples' problems. Which is something I do have a problem with. Especially since these white people were British. I mean...jeez. Talk about a loaded history.
According to the movie goers that I heard from over the weeks we had this movie, a lot of people really, really liked the movie. Older people especially seemed to really get something from the messages it had to offer. Although, on the other side, I also heard a number of people mention that they couldn't understand what happened in the movie. One person said it was like Inception in that you could see it 4 times and still not quite understand it all.
For the record, anyone who thinks this is a really convoluted movie is crazy. This movie is incredibly straight forward. My only guess is that they were confused, because there is a large cast and they all have their own stories, so the movie bounces around between them. But really, books do that, a ton of movies do that, it's pretty common.
In summation: It's pretty much what you'd expect from a movie of this type. The India angle is really the hook that gives this movie something unique. I could have done without the stereotypes, and I felt they only slightly took advantage of their opportunity to really give people a feel for another country and culture. But considering that it also had the opportunity to be truly and horribly offensive and wasn't, I really can't complain too much. It was rather nice to see a movie taking place in a foreign country.
It Started With Eve
Mr. Reynolds is dying and thinks that his son Johnny is engaged to Anne. But Anne is really just the coat-check girl at the hotel and Johnny is really engaged to Gloria. But now Mr. Reynolds isn't dying anymore, and still thinks that Johnny is marrying Anne, which doesn't please Gloria. Johnny wants to tell his father the truth, but Anne isn't helping, because she's found that Mr. Reynolds might be able to help her singing career. And Mr. Reynolds isn't helping either because he knows the truth, but likes Anne better than Gloria! What's poor Johnny to do?
Genre: Old Comedy
I already talked about this one this year. See the list from March (#40) for the details.
When I first saw this movie I watched it so I could know about it, since the theater I work at was going to be showing it for a Deanna Durbin series. I watched it again when the theater did show it, and it was starting right as my shift was ending, and I figured, hey, why not? After all, it isn't everyday you get a chance to see an old movie on the big screen.
This movie really is a lot of fun. And it really does grow on you. If you like old comedies you should think about giving it a watch.
A group of scientists discover ancient markings that point to a distant planet. They travel there seeking the origin of mankind, but when the arrive they find that not everything is how it appears.
Genre: Sci-fi Action
This movie is tricky for me because Alien is one of my favorite movies of all time. I really think I need to see this one again before I can really talk about it, but I'll give it a try.
I think there's an inherent problem in comparing this movie to Alien at all. Sure it's pretty obviously a prequel, but at the same time it's a completely different movie. Alien was claustrophobic and minimalistic. But Prometheus is wide open and extravagant—in every sense.
I think that compared to Alien, Prometheus is failure. Alien masterfully builds and manipulates tension, so that when it unleashes a scare it's like a coiled spring being released. The claustrophobic nature of the ship let you get to know all the characters so that when bad things start happening to them it's all the more chilling. It just does so many things so expertly and that's why I love it so much. Prometheus makes references to a lot of the great elements from Alien, but that's all they are: references. They don't really work very well in the context of it as its own entity.
However, taken apart from Alien, I think Prometheus has a lot going for it. The themes it explores are much grander than Alien's. Its grand setting and grand themes echo in your head long after the movie is done. The visuals really are pretty great, and I'm usually the one whining long and loud about CGI. But Prometheus really makes great use of them. Plus I think that, while the vast majority of the characters are pretty awful, the ones that aren't are not only amazing and memorable, but also brilliantly acted.
A man's father comes out of the closet at 70. And then he gets cancer and dies. Now the man is left trying to come to terms with his father's death, as well as his own life after he meets a girl worth living for.
Genre: The love child of a serious drama mother, and a quirky rom-com father.
I've been struggling to think of what I want to write for this one. I'm really not sure how I feel about it. I watched it. I enjoyed watching it. The acting was really great. I related to a number of the ideas in the movie. If you were to ask me if I thought it was worth watching, I would say Definitely. But if you were to ask me if I wanted to watch it again? Well...I'm not really so sure I would, not because of the quality, but just because it has a bit of a dreary tone that I usually don't go for in my escapist movie watching.
A 1939 reimagining of Cinderella.
Genre: Modern Fairy Tale
This was another one we showed at the theater as part of our Deanna Durbin series. And like I said, it's basically just Cinderella. Although there were a number of twists on the story that I liked.
In this version her parents are gone and so she goes to live with her uncle and his family. And unlike the traditional versions the Uncle doesn't die and thus she isn't left alone to deal with her "evil stepmother". Also unlike the traditional versions the Evil Stepmother character isn't really evil at all; she's just a bit flighty and a bit dim. The real villain comes in the form of the Evil Stepsister. But even then she isn't really "evil". She's just a spoiled girl who's used to getting her way and will try to manipulate people to get it.
A group of offbeat scientists start a company specializing in dealing with ghosts. But when a high-level demon sets its sights on New York, the Ghostbusters are the only ones that can stop it.
Genre: Classic 80's Sci-fi Comedy
Do I honestly need to tell you about Ghostbusters? It's Ghostbusters! If you've really never seen this movie and developed your own opinion of it by this point, then you probably need to sort your life out.
In summation: I adore Ghostbusters. If you haven't seen it then you should stop reading this shitty blog and go watch Ghostbusters.
[BAD] 73. [BAD]
A Fairly Odd Movie:
Grow Up, Timmy Turner
A movie that picks up a while after where the cartoon (The Fairly Odd Parents) left off. Timmy Turner refuses to grow up and thus still has his fairy god parents. But in order to win the heart of a beautiful girl and defeat an evil executive, he might have to grow up after all.
Genre: Live Action TV Movie of a Cartoon Series
I watched this movie because my friend Max dared me to.
As revenge for daring me to watch this I chronicled my watching of the movie for him on Facebook. So here is the chronicle that is...Me watching this ridiculous movie.
Before we begin I should probably point out that I've never seen the actual show that this movie is based on...I think if I had seen any of the show then this whole thing would have made a lot more sense.
Okay here we go. Apparently it's only an hour long. This opening song is kind of wonky so already I'm glad about that. The camera is panning across some pretty sweet toys...and a nativity scene? There may or may not be a blurry nativity scene in the background...maybe it's a dollhouse or something...
Alright so now we see a framed photo of some kid in pink. Looks like it's his birthday. He doesn't look very happy. His dad, however, looks like he just snorted up a shitload of speed or something.
Now there's a fishbowl...with like animated 3d fish. Oh now they're fairies. I kind of hate them all already. Hahaha this dude sleeps with a baseball hat on?! Haha oh jeez, what?
One of these fairies is spherical. It just belched right in this Timmy dude's dumb face. It is my favorite character so far.
For his birthday these fairies gave him a sword and then blew up most of his room...I'm gathering that they don't like him very much.
“Avast, ye salty peanuts!”
- Tim-tim just stabbed a pirate in the ass with his sword. Which sounds really raunchy when you say it outloud.
- He also just wedgied another one. While certainly untraditional, you've gotta admit the pirate wouldn't see that one coming.
This dude just showed up...I don't even know, man.
I should point out that Tim-tim has woken up and then had a fight with pirates and yet his hair is still perfectly molded.
“The only girl I've ever kissed was Tootie. It was 13 years ago, it was forced upon me, and I did NOT enjoy it.”
Max, I don't know what drug it is, but this dad has got to be shooting up with something.
I think I just learned what the dad has been shooting up with.
Yeah, the dad loves his Corn Shooters all right.
Oh snap! Apparently Tim-tim is some sort of wrathful God and bends the universe to his whims! He's like the kid in that Twilight zone episode. I suspect he'll turn his father into a jack-in-the-box soon.
Aaaaaand he just made them cry...and then say in unison to the heavens, "Why won't our son grow up!?"
Have I mentioned that everyone is this movie is talking in cartoon voices and that it is freakish and horrible?
Tim-tim's next wish should probably be to pick up all the trash in his neighborhood. I mean, jeez.
The fact that I've never seen this show is drastically effecting my ability to make sense of this movie. I mean, what the heck is this about? This top-heavy woman seems to have a prepubescent chain gang or something.
“Don't you shake your babas at me!”
I'm starting to think that this isn't a comedy. It's some dark dystopian tale or something. Man-children refuse to move out of their parents' houses. There's trash everywhere. Tiny little criminal children are put in detention centers. And on top of all that there isn't even enough community pride to TRY to name this school.
Okay it all makes sense now. Tim-tim is the villain! His teacher is the hero! Because his teacher is the one trying to put a stop to Tim-tims fairy-powered reign of terror. If he expels gas at Timmy he will beat out the sphere-child as my new favorite character.
So close! Timmy gave him the shits but the teacher was kind enough to go to the bathroom instead of just turning the table's on this cruel Godling and just going all over him.
Add “Stopped children from learning by inducing dodge-ball related chaos upon the school” to the horrid things Tim-tim's done today.
How much bizarre crap can one movie hold!?
Oh gross. Why is this hairdo allowed to exist?
- Okay, I've gotta admit there are a couple of funny lines in this stupid movie.
“Listen, sister Suzie Saffron Wheatgrass Helper, or whatever your treehugging name is, you don't want to mess around with Hugh J. Magnate Jr. So why don't you just toddle off back to your yurt...”
Are front-loaders really the best choice for tree removal? Wouldn't you use a saw...or something?
A front loader is not a bulldozer, Timmy! ...idiot
“The mayor's goat just ate your pants, sir.”
“As we speak my $4,000 pants are coursing through the digestive tract of a goat!”
Nope I was wrong. I was thinking of Kevin McDonald. This guy is apparently David Lewis. That's good to know.
“AS A HAM!”
Nothing to see here. Just two grown business associates sitting down to share a bowl of noodles.
Timmy's parents just made an attempt to pay Tootie to get their son away from them.
Timmy's fairies just tried to convince him to turn his dad into a woman. I'm so serious. He's gotta be the villain.
Whoever was in charge of props for this movie deserves a raise.
Now I've never worn boots like this, but it has got to be hard to ride a bike in those things.
I take back what I said about the prop person needing a raise. Because for every “Corn Shooters” there's a “School” and for every “Cheeds, Lyes, & Steeles” there's a “Fancy Restaurant.”
What the...Jason Alexander is in this movie...WHY?!
Hahaha some thugs just lured Tootie into an alley using a bunny and then caught her in a net. THEN carried her kicking and screaming through a public area to their car and NO ONE NOTICED!
What the f*** is this! It's like a nightmare come alive!
Oh, these children who keep robbing Timmy almost make up for that horrible nightmare vision of a rabbit.
Add “Grand theft auto” to his misdeeds.
Add “Riding a motorcycle on a sidewalk”
Add “Totally destroying the stolen motorcycle”
Oh God, Max, there are clowns everywhere. There are so many clowns. Ooooo it is terrible.
My former heroes have just kidnapped an innocent girl and put her in a cage...THERE ARE NO HEROES! There are only terrible and cruel villains, morons, and a sweet girl with horrible choice in men.
- “Wait. If someone's been kidnapped we need to call the police.”
“I can't...they're secret friends.”
“Respect the pecs, fairies!”
“And I wish you-”
“No, boss, wait-”
“-Were wearing a dress!”
“I should've done this a long time ago. It's time for me to grow up. I love you guys.”
“We love you too.”
“...I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.”
The ending to this movie...is terrible.
“With Timmy gone this is paradise!” Well said Timmy's parents. Well said.
The Princess Bride
A story about, "Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles..."
Genre: 80's Comedy Romance
Once again I shouldn't have to say anything for a classic like this one. I love the movie. The writing in this thing it so freakishly clever. It is just top notch. My only problem with it is that there really aren't any decent female characters...well, no that's not true, Carol Kane's character is pretty great. But still. Buttercup is pretty much useless. Her true love was getting attacked by a giant rat and she didn't do anything to help. Oh, and instead of trying to escape from the evil prince's castle she instead decides to...kill herself...so yeah...not the best role model.
Normally that would be enough for me to hate a movie, but this movie makes up for it's terrible female characters! The writing and the great cast and even the plot device of the story as the tale being read by a grandfather to his grandson, it is all pitch perfect.