Friday, November 6, 2015

31 Days of Spooky Films: 2015

That’s right, everyone, it’s time once again for my 2nd annual horror movie challenge. It's,
Spooky Films 2:
Return to 31 Days!

Well, we can work the title out later. In any case, I’m sure you all remember the challenge: watch at least 1 spooky film every day in October. It doesn’t necessarily have to a scary movie, but it does have to be spooky.

This year, just to make things extra challenging, I added the rule that I couldn’t count anything I watched in previous years’ challenges. Which definitely made things a bit more difficult, which is bad. But it forced me to try a lot of new stuff, which is good!

I, of course, chronicled the films I watched so as to aid you in your own horror watching adventures. So best of luck to you, my friends.

And stay safe.


A medical student has figured out a way to bring the dead back to life! But now his roommate’s starting to wonder what happened to the cat, his teachers hate him, and his corpses keep attacking him! Life is never easy for a mad scientist med student...or is it?

Fright Factor:
2.5 / 5 Murderous Nudes

Gore Factor:
4 / 5 Autopsies

Should you watch it?:

If you like cult horror films, then Definitely.

I had no idea what to expect going into it, but this movie is the epitome of cult horror. It’s cheap, but ambitious. Ridiculous, yet creepy. Full of over-the-top gore and not at all afraid to embrace the hilarity of its own premise. It’s also one of the few horror movies I’ve seen that features more male nudity than female. The one complaint I have with it is that one scene briefly made me a little morally uncomfortable and created a whole new interpretation of the term “giving head,” but other than that it’s pretty great. The actor playing Herbert West is especially enjoyable.

“I was busy pushing bodies around, as you well know, and what would a note say, Dan? ‘Cat dead, details later’?”

House on Haunted Hill

A millionaire and his wife host a private haunted house party wherein whoever can last the night will get $10,000. But getting that money won't be easy and getting out alive will be even harder.

Fright Factor:
0.8 / 5 Vincent Prices

Gore Factor:
0.5 /5 Acid Baths

Should you watch it?:

If you’re looking for a sleep aid then you should definitely watch this movie. Seriously. I fell asleep 3 times trying to watch this thing.

I don’t even know what to say about it. Its one redeeming factor is that Vincent Price. But the man can only do so much. If an elementary school class was to write/direct/and star in a haunted house play for Halloween this is a pretty much what I’d expect it to be like. I don’t know what the horror level was in 1959, but for a grown-ass adult in 2015 this thing is just dull, dull, dull. And to make things worse most of it doesn’t even make sense! In what possible world am I to believe someone keeps an honest-to-god pit of acid in their basement?

“It’s almost time to lock up the house and then your party will really begin. I wonder how it will end...”

The Blob

When a mysterious alien blob crash-lands in the outskirts of small-town USA, it’s up to a “teenaged” Steve McQueen and his girl friday to warn the townsfolk before the blob consumes everyone! It’s too bad no one listens to teenagers because they’re notoriously full of angst and hormones.

Fright Factor:
1.2 / 5 Globs

Gore Factor:
1 / 5 Blobs

Should you watch it?:


To be fair it’s got one of the more intriguingly and completely alien aliens ever seen in cinema. But to be honest it is still a cheesy 50’s don’t expect some cinematic masterpiece, just an oddly original one (in its own way). Though be warned that most of the movie is teenagers trying to convince people that an alien blob is eating people and not of the blob actually eating them.

“How do you get people to protect themselves from something they don’t believe in?”


Clementine and Lucas are a French couple living in a remote area near Bucharest. One night while investigating a strange noise outside they find themselves suddenly under siege. A strange group of people in hoodies attacks and begins toying with them. With their lives on the line the couple tries desperately to get away alive.

Fright Factor:
3.5 / 5 Youths

Gore Factor:
2 / 5 Shards of glass

Should you watch it?:


I really enjoyed this one. It does a really great job on maintaining a wonderful tension throughout the movie, it’s got some great scares, and it’s even got leads that you hope don’t die! I don’t know about you, but personally I consider characters I don’t want to die to be a key element in a good horror movie.

“Based on real events.”

Poltergeist II:
The Other Side

One year after their house was spectrally imploded during an encounter with an evil spirit the Freelings family has tried to move on. They’re living with relatives until they can get back on their feet and trying their best to forget the horrors they’ve all seen. But, unfortunately for them, their encounter with the other side has painted a supernatural target on their backs and something’s coming for them. Something that’s after Carol Anne’s gifts and will stop at nothing to get them.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Insane Preachers

Gore Factor:
2 / 5 Tequila Hangovers

Should you watch it?:

If you liked the first Poltergeist, sure. But otherwise? Probably not.

It’s rare you’ll see a horror movie that got most of the original cast back, but this one managed to do it. Overall this movie is nowhere near as spooky as the first one was. I mean, really, it isn’t even all that spooky in general. There’s a couple of freaky bits, but overall not much. However, I liked the family dynamics it created. I think if you were to combine the scares of the first movie with the character depth of the second one you’d have the recipe for a perfect Poltergeist movie.

“Listen, children. You can’t run from this thing. It has made contact and it will stop at nothing. You’ve got to fight it head-on. Stay together. Be loving. Be brave.”

The Omen

An American ambassador and his wife discover something new about their son Damien: he’s the Antichrist! Probably?!? What do you do when your son is so freaky bad you’re willing to consider him the spawn of Satan?


Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Horrible Children

Gore Factor:
2.4 / 5 Dog Bites

Should you watch it?:

If you’re in the mood for some classic 70s horror, then yes. It’s definitely the kind of classic horror that you need to see at least once.

I had never seen The Omen before and was surprised to find it was a lot better than I was expecting. Gregory Peck was great and I like how it focused a little more on the mystery than on the scares. Although some of the parts that are supposed to show how creepy Damien is just kind of made it seem like he most likely has autism...which made the whole thing a little bit uncomfortable. But my main problem is that it’s kind of one of those horror movies where there’s a lot of little inconsistencies and hang-ups. You know? Like a lot of things happen because it’s convenient for it to happen that way storywise and not because it makes any in-world sense?

That plus 70s fashion is definitely not conducive for a horror atmosphere. I’m just sayin’.

“Your son, Mr. Thorn. The Son of the Devil. He will kill the unborn child. Then he will kill your wife. And then, when he is certain to inherit all that is yours, then, Mr. Thorn... he will kill you.”

The Invisible Man

A brilliant chemist discovers the secret to invisibility!

WARNING: Side effects to invisibility may include Insanity, Murderous inclinations, and Loss of clothes.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Naked men

Gore Factor:
0.5 / 5 Stranglings

Should you watch it?:


This movie is so much fun and a personal favorite of mine. There are so many great lines, great effects, memorable moments, and Claude Rains’ performance is just pitch perfect. It is this perfect blend of everything there is to love about old Black&White movies.

“We’ll begin with a reign of terror, a few murders here and there, murders of great men, murders of little men - well, just to show we make no distinction. I might even wreck a train or two... just these fingers around a signalman’s throat, that’s all.”


A man kidnaps a podcaster in order to surgically turn him into a walrus.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Kevin Smiths

Gore Factor:
3 / 5 Walrus fans

Should you watch it?:

Ugh. No. My friends warned me that this movie wasn’t good, but I didn’t listen! I had to see it for myself because it sounded so friggin’ stupid and I wanted to see how it worked. And it was a terrible choice! Listen to your friends. Listen to me. Despite having a totally ludicrous premise, the film still manages to be incredibly BORING. It is not worth your time. You are better than this.

“I don’t want to die in Canada.”

Ginger Snaps

Two sisters share an unbreakable bond until a rift is caused when one of them gets her first period...wait...I mean, until one of them gets bitten by a werewolf.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Menstrual cramps

Gore Factor:
2.5 / 5 Mucosal tissues

Should you watch it?:

Yes. In terms of Horror movie it’s middle-school sleepover level. But it’s definitely one of the more interesting takes on werewolf horror I’ve seen. Its whole analogy between being bitten by a werewolf and going through puberty is oddly perfect. The one major flaw in the film is that their final-form werewolf looks RIDICULOUS. It’s like the love child of a werewolf and a naked mole rat.

“Are you sure it’s just cramps?”

“Just so you know... the words ‘just’ and ‘cramps,’ they don’t go together.”

The Hole

A family moves into a new house only to find that there’s a hole in the basement! An evil hole!

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Bieber haircuts

Gore Factor:
1.2 / 5 Holes

Should you watch it?:

If you’re in the mood for a movie that is essentially a cinematic Goosebumps book, then it will definitely satisfy that craving. I mean, seriously, this movie hits all the classic Goosebumps buttons. In fact, if you want to make a night of it try this, The Hole Drinking Game: Take a drink anytime you see a Goosebumps cliché. Alternatively: Take a drink anytime someone says the word “Hole.”

Oh, and be prepared to be annoyed that no one tries to just lock the hole back up. “Oh no! What happened to the locks we took off? I guess we’ll have to do something else!” What? You stupid kids. Go buy some friggin’ locks! They are plentiful and not expensive. Just take that pizza money your mom left you and go buy some locks. Con: You won’t get any pizza. Pro: Your nightmares won’t try to drag you into a friggin’ hole every night.

“We all saw that, right?”

“You’re talking about the little girl that just crawled into the bottomless pit under your house? Yeah. Think we all saw that.”


Two sisters go to a small Colorado resort town to visit their mother, but when they arrive they find the entire town mysteriously devoid of people. Well...devoid of anyone alive at least. Getting into town was easy. But getting out? That’s going to be something else entirely.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Oil Spills

Gore Factor:
3.3 / 5 Schreibers

Should you watch it?:

It’s not mindblowing, but think it’s definitely worth watching. The first time I saw it a friend lent it to me and I had absolutely no clue what it was about or who was in it. And let me tell you, that is a fun way to watch this movie. It does a pretty great job at masking just what kind of a horror movie it actually is in the beginning, so it really kind of keeps you guessing and not sure what’s going to happen next. It gets a tad Stephen Kingy at the end for my tastes, but all in all it’s makes for a fun time at the movies.

“ want to see somethin’?”

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2:
Freddy’s Revenge

When a new family moves into the house of Elm Street their boy meets their new neighbor: Freddy Krueger! He’s back! But this time he isn’t just lurking in dreams, this time he’s possessed the new kid and now there’s nowhere to hide.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Fashion Nightmares

Gore Factor:
3.8 / 5 Krueger Births

Should you watch it?:

Unless you’re a huge fan of the original, then no. There are no rules in this movie! I’m of the belief that a good horror movie needs some rules to the horror so the goodies can have some hope of defeating the threat. But there are no rules here. Krueger just kind of goes around stirring shit up and none of it really makes any kind of sense. There’s a few interesting visuals throughout the course of the movie, but none of them on par with the original.

“Mommy? Why can’t Jesse wake up like everybody else?”

The Crazies

When a military plane goes down in small town Iowa it releases a chemical agent into the water supply. Those infected become increasingly disoriented and murderously violent. Now the town is caught between the crazies on one side and a government desperate to cover up its mess on the other.

Fright Factor:
2.8 / 5 Government cover-ups

Gore Factor:
3.3 / 5 Neighbors gone wild

Should you watch it?:

Yes please! This is a personal favorite of mine. It’s this great amalgamation of several different horror genres. It’s got the best elements of zombie and serial killer and infection-based horror. Not to mention that it’s just plain well made. The more times I see it the more I pick up on. There’s a lot of great little details in this one and there’s really something for everyone. You can view it for the horror, you can view it for the fun, heck, you can even view it as a rather intriguing invective against the American government. And like any great horror movie there’s some scenes in here that you won’t be forgetting any time soon.

“Don’t ask me why I can’t leave without my wife and I won’t ask you why you can.”

[Hide and Go Seek]

A group of children gather in a dark and hidden city to play a mysterious game called Otokoyo: a haunted game of Hide and Go Seek. However, this is no ordinary game. In this game the demons try to find you. And trust’s better to not be found.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Kotori

Gore Factor:
1 / 5 Oni

Should you watch it?:

While I’m sure animated Japanese short films aren’t for everyone, I don’t even care. I have to recommend this one to everyone. There is just something about this thing that keeps me coming back to it. Like any great short story/film this one establishes an intriguing premise, plays with it a little, and ends on a high note that leaves you wanting more. There’s so much I can mention with this thing, but at the end of the day you’ll either adore it or you won’t get it. And I’ll leave that up to you.

[PS I only watch the subtitled version, because I think the dub sounds ridiculous.]

“Mou ii kai?”

Ich seh Ich seh
[Goodnight Mommy]

Two young boys are convinced that the woman who returned home after having facial surgery isn’t really their mother. But if that’s the case, then who is this woman? And where is their real mother?

Fright Factor:
2.5 / 5 Intrusive Red Cross workers

Gore Factor:
4 / 5 Sunburns

Should you watch it?:

If you have kids then you should definitely watch it. Everyone else? I think it’s worth seeing once. There’s some really creepy stuff going on here and some really realistic level freakiness. But I’m pretty sure seeing this movie as a parent would add a whole ‘nother level of horror to the film.

I’m gonna be honest here, I hate the horror cliché of twins. If you want to put in twins who are their each their own people? Sure. Go for it. But EVERYONE does it the same way where the kids dress alike and talk together and never are apart. And what is the point of that? It’s redundant. There’s a whole bunch of stuff I would have really liked in this had they not done it with the carbon copy twin thing.

The more I look back on it, the more I realize just how painfully sad this movie is. This is a really sad movie when you stop and think about it, y’all.

“You’re not our mom.”

Stir of Echoes

After undergoing hypnosis a father’s mind is opened up to the world of the paranormal. Now the ghost in his house won’t leave him alone until he solves its murder.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 “Stay safe, Kevin Bacon!”s

Gore Factor:
3 / 5 Murders most foul

Should you watch it?:

Yes. Not only does it star Kevin Bacon and is delightfully 90s, but it’s a really enjoyable movie! It’s not terrifying, but it’s definitely spooky. And it’s a just plain well-made movie with really great characters. I thoroughly recommend watching it.

“I didn’t marry you ‘cause you were going to be famous. I liked the way your ass looked in jeans.”


A high school dweeb falls in love with an evil car and together they’ll stop anyone who dares get between them.

Fright Factor:
1.5 / 5 Old Man Marleys

Gore Factor:
2 / 5 Hit and Runs

Should you watch it?:

It’s a John Carpenter movie based on a Stephen King novel about a car that falls in love with people and kills others in a jealous rage. Yes. Obviously you need to watch this movie. Do I need to say more? Why are you not watching this movie right now is the real question.

“Whoa, whoa. You better watch what you say about my car. She’s real sensitive.”

The Black Cat

A former soldier seeks revenge on the Satanist officer who was responsible for him ending up in a prison camp, but ends up having to try and save two honeymooners from him instead.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Boris Karloffs

Gore Factor:
1 / 5 Bela Lugosis

Should you see it?:

I think so. It’s a really fun piece of old Universal-style horror and I had a great time watching it. If nothing else seeing Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi in the same movie? So cool. Especially when Bela Lugosi is the “good” guy!

“The phone is dead. Do you hear that, Vitus? Even the phone is dead.”

Murders in the Rue Morgue

A mad scientist is on the hunt for the perfect woman to inject with insane ape blood! Why? Because of science!

Fright Factor:
0.7 / 5 Mad Scientist Pimps

Gore Factor:
0.5 / 5 Horny killer apes

Should you watch it?:

Honestly? You’d probably be better off finding something better to watch. It’s entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons. The only thing scary about this movie is the ignorance of its policemen and scientists. That and a scene where some weirdly framed shots and strange cuts seems to depict the ape not murdering anyone like it’s supposedly doing, but instead just jerking off.

“Heresy? Do they still burn men for heresy? Then burn me monsieur, light the fire! Do you think your little candle will outshine the flame of truth?”

Saw II

The Jigsaw killer strikes again! This time he’s trapped a roomful of people in a house full of deadly tricks.

Fear Factor:
2 / 5 Tape Recorders

Gore Factor:
4 / 5 Biohazards

Should you watch it?:

No. It’s not as interesting as the first one. The characters are all pretty one dimensional. The killer’s motives defy all logic. And no one, NO ONE seems to get it through their thick heads that Jigsaw is all about traps and puzzles. “He wants us to go in this room. Do you think it’s a trap?” Of course it’s a friggin’ trap! It’s always a trap. No one even tries to solve the puzzles! “Hey he said the secret to getting out is in the riddle. Should we try and solve it?” “No Way! Let’s just wander around and fight with each other!” So, so stupid.

The needle pit was pretty freaking creepy though. I’ll give them that one.

“Greetings... and welcome. I trust that you are all wondering where you are. I can assure you that while your location is not important, what these walls offer for your IS important... salvation, if you earn it. 3 hours from now the door to this house will open. Unfortunately, you only have 2 hours to live.”

The Lazarus Effect

A group of scientists’ experiment to try and restart dead brains has disastrous and unforeseen results.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Terrible scientists

Gore Factor:
2 / 5 Brain injections

Should you watch it?:

Only if you really can’t find anything better. It falls pretty firmly into the genre of horror movies made by people who understand the concept of scary, but have no clue how to actually scare anyone. Movies like this think that having a creepy premise is enough, but in fact horror is all about atmosphere.

I really like Mark Duplass and Olvia Wilde though! It’s such a pity they weren’t utilized as well as they should have been. But if you pretend this is a doofy horror movie they made on a lunch break or something? Then it’s okay. (Just don’t expect the supposed “science” in the movie to even remotely resemble reality.)

“Did I just die?”

American Psycho

A scorching mockery of yuppie culture And/Or The story of a well-to-do business professional whose affluent lifestyle hides a socio/psychopathic serial killer.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Yuppies

Gore Factor:
2.8 / 5 Tightie-whitie/chainsaw models

Should you watch it?:

Not if you’re in the mood for something really SCARY, but yes if you’re looking for a really interesting rebuke of the wealthy as done through a horror lens. The really creepy thing is that as far as this movie goes in its depiction of’s still awfully close to reality. Yuppies are kind of fucked up, y’all.

“Do you like Phil Collins?”

The Purge

It’s 2022 and this new America has figured out the secret to combat rising crime rates: give everyone one night to get it out of their system. Enter “The Purge.” One night a year in which all crime becomes legal. But when a wealthy family attempts to give sanctuary to a man in distress they become the target of a band of purge-happy psychos who will stop at nothing to get their target.

Fright Factor:
2.4 / 5 Daughter’s boyfriends

Gore Factor:
2.8 / 5 Stabbings

Should you watch it?:

This movie is so freakin’ ludicrous and rather ham-fisted, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn't entertaining in its own way. I mean, is it the best horror movie out there? Hell no. But it hits all the minimum requirements of things you want to see in a horror movie. Premise allowing for horror? Check. Antagonist that is kind of creepy, but also kind of wacky? Check. People getting killed/maimed in unexpected ways? Check. Not quite sure who’s going to live or die? Check.

“Why didn’t he just cut off his penis?”

“We are having dinner! No penises!”

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

A pleasant trip to see if a grandfather’s grave had been ransacked quickly takes a turn for the worse when a group of friends are beset upon a maniac with a chainsaw.

Fright Factor:
2.8 / 5 Awful brothers

Gore Factor:
2.8 / 5 Corpse decorators

Should you watch it?:

If you’re an aficionado of Horror then Yes, but otherwise No. I can see how this film has had a big impact, but at the same time there’s a number of problems with it. It has the most friggin’ annoying character I’ve ever seen in a horror movie (Franklin), I’m pretty sure the ladies spend more time screaming than they do giving any real dialogue, there’s more depiction of people with mental problems as a source of horror than I’ve ever seen, and the whole thing seems rather slap-dash in its execution. But that being said there is something uniquely creepy about this movie and it’s not what you’d think. I think Joey Comeau said it best when he said:
The original TCM is not a perfect movie by any means, but it is devastating. There’s a briefness to the violence that makes me more sick to my stomach than any of the extended torture scenes in the remake could. Someone will be alive, walking, talking, and then BAM. He’s not a person anymore. He’s a convulsing, twitching piece of meat.”

And therein lies the real horror of this movie.

“If I have any more fun today, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to take it!”

The Descent

A group of friends looking for adventure go on a spelunking trip. However, when a cave-in leaves them trapped they’re going to have to either find a way out or die trying.

Fright Factor:
4 / 5 Enclosed spaces

Gore Factor:
4 / 5 Mole men

Should you watch it?:

Definitely. I’m gonna level with you here: dying in a cave ranks pretty high on my list of fears. So FYI I might be biased in my fear here, but whatever!

There’s some freaky stuff in this movie, but the part that freaked me out the most was just seeing the characters trying to squeeze through all sorts of super narrow passages. HELL NO. Go to the beach you idiots! Ugh.

So right off the bat we’ve got a pretty freaky locale. Then add in the characters. There is one dude in this movie and a whole lot of ladies! PLUS no one’s a damsel screaming their head off and contributing nothing! I know right? How often does that happen?

I mean, there are a few things I can nitpick about the movie, but when you have an understanding of basic science you can do that to pretty much any horror movie. All in all it’s some horrificly good fun.

P.S. Fuck caves.

“See you down there.”

The Descent:
Part II

People go looking for the spelunkers from the first movie! But they do not do a very good job. No. Not a very good job at all.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Dead idiots

Gore Factor:
4.3 / 5 Collapsed skulls

Should you watch it?:

Hahaha...NO. For a while it came close to being “Awful, but entertaining in a 'dumb horror movie’ kind of way,” but...just no. If I was to sum up this movie in one word that word would be “Contrived.”

Nothing in this movie makes any sense!

And you know what? I held my tongue for the first movie, but I can’t anymore. This is annoying the junk out of me. You know how big apex predator packs are? Around 10 animals. A super big one would be like 30. I wasn’t counting, but there had to be at more than 30 creatures in this friggin’ cave. IN A CAVE! How can you support a pack that big when you live in a fudgin’ cave?! Where are you getting the food? They’re too friggin’ dumb to farm. “Oh, they go outside to hunt. You deer and stuff” I’m sorry. What was that? A friggin’ blind-ass cave dweller is going to run down a deer? How? HOW? I swear one of them was even eating a bear. A Bear. DO YOU NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BEARS?!

Ugh. Just why? It’s basically like someone tried to recreate the first movie, but with a much lower budget, a worse script, worse sets, worse lighting, a bunch of terrible male characters thrown into the mix to ruin the original vibe, and a fair bit more gore to try and cover up for the lack of quality everywhere else.

Oh and did I mention that the ending is one of the worst I’ve ever seen? Because it is.

“Fuck! Fucking trigger-happy Americans.”

The Evil Dead

A group of friends take a trip up to a remote cabin in the woods. While there they stumble across the research of a professor who had been studying demonic artifacts. Inevitably the friends accidentally invoke an incantation and unleash an evil force upon themselves. One by one it possesses them and proceeds to mock and maim and kill the others. What are 5 college students to do? The professor’s advice? “Bodily dismemberment.”

Fright Factor:
3 / 5 tHorny plants

Gore Factor:
4.2 / 5 “That’s gotta hurt”s

Should you watch it?:

Without a doubt.

The Evil Dead isn’t a perfect movie, but it is a valiant effort at one. And it is a perfect example of all the ways horror can be just plain FUN. It ranges from from unsettling to scary, campy to serious, brilliant to bizarre. Many people better remember the pseudo-sequel/remake Evil Dead II, but frankly I prefer the original. Two went for the laughs, but the original legitimately goes for the scares and is the better movie because of it. The scares don’t always land, but they’re always giving it their all.

It’s definitely a low-budget affair and made by people without a ton of experience. And anything I could say bad about it just stems from those two things. Which isn’t to say it’s bad by any means, but just to say that it was fighting an up-hill battle to quality and you’ve gotta expects some bumps in the way. (Whereas many horror movies had money coming out of their butts and still ended up with nothing close to Evil Dead quality). But it is so refreshing to see a movie where everyone is so clearly giving it their all.

At the end of the day there are few movies that carry such a genuine love of the horror genre with them than The Evil Dead.

“I’m all right now, Ashley! Come unlock this chain and let me out! I’m all right now!”


A hostage-taking power couple and their love bird hostages take refuge in a gas station after encountering a strange and deadly infection that messes up its hosts in a big way.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Nerds

Gore Factor:
3.5 / 5 Self-breaking bones

Should you watch it?:

I definitely wouldn’t go out of your way to see it, but it ever falls into your lap it’s alright.

There’s a lot of really intriguing ideas at work in this movie, but none of them are used as effectively as they should’ve been. Mostly because no one on the team has any clue about any science other than what they learned from...possibly Snapple cap trivia?

Not to mention the nerdy guy in the movie is just the worst. He’s a walking stereotype and is supposed to be a biologist, but hates the outdoors? And doesn’t really use his biology background for anything more than occasionally use random science words. For instance: “It’s as if it absorbed nutritional ingredients at the cellular level.” Ohmygosh! Really? JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER CELL?!

Okay, okay, I can rant about the myriad of things I hate about this movie’s lack of science literacy all night. But I won’t do that to you.

So in summary: Interesting ideas, but sloppy execution prevents any of them from living up to their potential.

Oh yeah, Shae Whigham is in this thing and I think he’s pretty great. So there’s that.


“It’s okay, it’s okay, we’re cutting your arm off.”

The Relic

A natural history museum gets a strange shipment from a missing anthropologist. However, it seems that a dangerous creature came along for the ride.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Chimeras

Gore Factor:
2.7 / 5 Disembodied heads

Should you watch it?:

If you’re a fan of 90s monster movies and/or biology-focused horror then yes.

While probably not up everyone’s alley, I certainly had fun watching this one. And what’s this? A main character biologist who actually acts like a friggin’ Biologist? You don’t see that in too many horror movies. (looking shamefully at you here, Splinter).

I’m not gonna lie to you, I started watching this because I saw the title and thought it was something else (The Ruins). But I’m glad I saw it! I was really pleasantly surprised. It starts off a bit rocky, but it really manages to establish one of the more intriguing monster premises I’ve seen. Add in a focus on biology and a very intelligent and capable female lead and I’m hooked.

It suffers from pacing issues, a strange mix of really great characters and extremely bland ones, and a very repetitively styled death sequences. Those things definitely hold it back and prevent it from making the jump from Good to Great. It’s not gonna send you jumping under the covers by any means, but it’d be a really fun one to have on while you’re multitasking some October afternoon.

“Lieutenant D’Agosta, it’s lovely to see you under such alarming circumstances. 7 decapitations in one week. Don’t you just hate someone who only takes head and never gives it?”

The Ruins

A group of tourists visit an unknown ruin in Mexico. The locals are less than pleased about this and proceed to force them onto the ruin, surrounding it to make sure no one can escape. As if being trapped in the hot sun with only a little food and water wasn’t bad enough, they soon find that there’s something else alive up here: a species of carnivorous vines.

Fright Factor:
3 / 5 Organic deaths

Gore Factor:
4 / 5 Floral penetrations

Should you watch it?:

Yes...well most of it at least (basically everything before they get to the ruin is utterly pointless).

Do you ever see a movie and at the end you’re not necessarily disappointed with it for what it was, but for what it could have been? That’s how I feel about this one. It was quite good, but it had all the ingredients to make something Brilliant and never managed to build up enough momentum to get there.

I love the idea of these vines. They’re not some scheming foe, they’re an almost passive yet entity. Roots sense blood or prey and reach for it. When they find flesh they seek to use it for food and reproduction. And the idea that these vines have evolved not only to be carnivorous, but also adapted specifically to hunt humans makes them all the freakier. And the vines are covering large parts of the ruin! They aren’t hiding in the depths. They’re always there. It’s a friggin’ creepy set-up isn’t it.

Sadly, the movie occasionally loses sight of just what makes their planty antagonists so damn creepy and tries to inject more terror into them. Resulting in the plants oscillating between uncomfortably plausible and typical movie monster schlock.

Which is disappointing, but it wouldn’t have been so bad if they had better characters. Aside from Laura Ramsey (who is amazing in this), everyone else tended to annoy/bore me. Especially the wannabe doctor character who inevitably does a ton more harm than good and you just wanna shake some sense into him. At one point a character even yells at everybody to try and remind them that this guy isn’t an actual doctor, just a beginning med student.

Despite its flaws the movie is still really freaky and has managed to make me a little scared of plants. But dang! With a couple little tweeks this thing could’ve been AMAZING! They had the ability to create the truly frightening Alien-styled claustrophobic tension-building dread that I love so much. But alas. It’s still one of the most original horror movie ideas I’ve seen and its full of some freaky shit.

“They don’t want us to spread it. That’s why they won’t let us leave. They’re salting the soil to keep it contained.”

The Others

In the aftermath of WWII a mother tries desperately to raise her 2 children and maintain her house by herself. But something supernatural is afoot in this house and strange new interlopers have begun to make her already stressful life all the more challenging.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 “They’re heeerre”s

Gore Factor:
0 / 5 Finger pricks

Should you watch it?:

It is worth watching, but perhaps not worth going out of your way to watch?

I don’t know. It’s well made and generates some nice suspense. And yet, personally I found it to be predictable and kinda depressing. I’m not so much scared of the ghosts in the movie as I just feel really bad for them.

It does have Fionnula Flanagan in it though and it’s always great to see her.

P.S. I really hope that mom was paying attention to those kids’ diets, because if she wasn’t those kids would get a real bad case of rickets. You gots to get some Vitamin D, kids!

“What if we see a ghost?”

“If you see a ghost, you say hello and you continue on studying.”

Shaun of the Dead

A slacker’s plans to get his life together are interrupted by an invasion of zombies. But is the zombie menace just the motivation he needed to break out of his slump or just simply the end of the world?

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Girls in the garden

Gore Factor:
3 / 5 Reasons to get away from the window

Should you watch it?:

Ohmygoodgolly, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD!

Shaun of the Dead is the ultimate horror comedy. It is just the greatest. It’s one of those movies that I just never get sick of watching. It’s a movie beloved by those who love horror and even those who don’t. It’s just that good.

“We’re coming to get you, Barbara!”

À l’intérieur

On Christmas eve a pregnant woman comes under attack from a crazy woman who breaks into her home and tries to steal her unborn child.

Fright Factor:
4.4 / 5 Pre-natal home invasions

Gore Factor:
4.2 / 5 Caesareans

Should you watch this?:

If you can handle some intense horror you should most definitely watch this. Honestly it’s one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen.

Before seeing this I had heard a number of people mention it, but when they do I usually just hear about how F-ed up it is. But...I don’t know.

Usually when someone says a horror movie is “F-ed up” they’re saying the movie is...let’s say “uniquely grotesque.” However, this movie isn’t all about the gore. It’s far from the realm of Torture Porn horror. Instead what makes people so uncomfortable with Inside is that it manages to tap into a fundamental taboo of our nature and exploit the shit out of it.

I think, as much as we hate to admit it, we often understand the motives behind violent crimes. But some things...even the thought of some acts is so hideous to us that they can’t make it to our empathy. They bounce hard off the bones of our morals and send sickening vibrations through our cores. Inside takes one of those ideas, and then just to twist the knife, they make you understand why the shear-wielding woman is doing it.

If the premise wasn’t scary enough the whole movie is just a masterpiece. It’s well shot, well acted, it’s original, it’s surprising, it’s got some of the best pacing I’ve seen, it’s utterly memorable; it’s everything a great horror movie should be. It has you going from holding your breath, to shouting at the screen in desperation, to going “WTF!?”, and everything in between.

Yes, the movie is horrifying, but like any great horror movie it’s also just plain fun. Like a well made roller coaster it takes you on one hell of a ride and leaves you a combination of giddy, unsteady, and maybe just a tad nauseous afterwards.

“My child. My baby. Finally inside me. No one will take you from me.”

Død Snø 2
[Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead]

What do you do when a battalion of Nazi zombies attacks? Raise an army of Russian zombies, of course!

Fright Factor:
1.5 / 5 Bared arms

Gore Factor:
4 / 5 Organ ropes

Should you watch it?:

If you’re a big zombie fan then it’s pretty fun, but if you’re not then you’d be better off skipping it.

Oddly the whole first half of this movie is pretty bad. Like, I was wondering if I should just stop and watch something else instead-level bad. But once they finally get everything set up? I have to admit it had me laughing out loud.

While the original made an attempt at horror and ended up just being gory and goofy, this one goes straight for the gory laughs from the get go. So if you’re like me and enjoy ridiculous zombie-fueled antics, this movie has plenty. But if you’re not a fan of gory laughs then there’s not much else to redeem this one for you.

P.S. I know it’s random, but I love that they went and got the Russians to fight the Nazis. Because OF COURSE you’d get the Russians! Right?

“Please don’t hurt me. I have two kittens.”

The Last Man on Earth

Scientist Robert Morgan becomes the last man on Earth after a mysterious virus turns everyone into mindless vampiric zombies or just plain kills them. For the past 3 years he has been living alone, trying to stave off boredom by doing whatever he can to clear out the vampires. But he’s about to find out that he’s not alone as he thought, for better or for worse.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Lonely men

Gore Factor:
1 / 5 Shots fired

Should you watch it?:

I think so.

Honestly there’s a lot of stuff you can knock this movie for. It’s rather slow, there’s a huge extended flashback just shoved into the middle, the budget is noticeably minuscule, and the vampires are too inefficient to be scary.

However, interestingly enough, the vampires aren’t really supposed to be scary. They aren’t necessarily a huge threat to him, but more of a constant reminder of all he’s lost and of his inability to fix anything. The real terror of the movie lies in the character’s utter loneliness. He failed to find a cure for the disease and ended up losing everyone he ever loved. Now he desperately tries to give his life meaning by disposing of as many of these creatures as he can, but it means nothing. Every night they still gather round his house pounding on the doors taunting him to come outside and let them end his life.

Really, Vincent Price just nails this role. There’s this brilliant scene where Dr. Morgan is holed up in his house one night and he puts on an old home movie he had made of his family at the circus. He’s watching the antics of the clowns and seeing his family laughing and he begins to laugh. It’s the first time we really see him truly happy, but then, right on cue, his old friend (now a vampire) taunts him from outside, and Morgan’s laughs slowly become sobs. He’s lost everything. He doesn’t want to go on, but feels compelled by guilt to continue. It’s just heartbreaking.

And that’s what this movie always comes back to. That crushing sadness and utter loneliness. And no matter what problems I can find with any other part of it, it’s that emotional core of this movie that keeps me coming back to this film.

“Another day to live though...
...better get started.”

Piranha 3D

A seismic event releases a school of ancient killer piranha unto a coastal town during spring break.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Bros

Gore Factor:
4 / 5 Severed dongs

Should you watch it?:

Probably not? It has some redeeming qualities, but at its heart it’s just a spring break soft-core porn + gore.

Never before have I seen so much talent in such ridiculous T&A movie. Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue, Adam Scott, Christopher Lloyd. I How did they do it? Where did the get the money to make that happen?

Piranha is essentially what you’d get if Jaws had a drunken one-night stand with a Girls Gone Wild dvd and then left her alone to raise the baby, but still paid child support.

There are so many boobs in this movie. SO MANY. I’m sure a lot of guys would be in heaven watching this movie, but all the while I was just wishing they’d stop showing so many breasts and butts and actually develop the story. The most annoying thing is that underneath all the gratuitous flesh there actually is a fun story at work!...sometimes. There are some really great characters and bits of dialogue and performances that just leave you wondering why the heck those things weren’t the tentpoles of the movie instead of...oh, who am I kidding. Of course no one cares about clever writing when there are ladies to ogle. :(

I watched this one because I read that while most of it is absolutely terrible, the last 30 minutes or so are extremely entertaining. And I’ve gotta admit they weren’t wrong. The ending is just a piranha free-for-all and is more or less the kind of ridiculous fun the whole movie should have been.

The cliffhanger ending was total BS though.

“Nice horn.”

“Thanks. Nice boobs.”


“I have a training bra but I don’t like to wear it ‘cause it itches.”

“Tell me about it.”

Sleepaway Camp

A girl and her cousin go off to camp. But the fun and games quickly turn deadly when someone starts offing kids and counselors alike.

Fright Factor:
1.5 / 5 Mean children

Gore Factor:
2.8 / 5 Kitchen nightmares

Should you watch it?:

Haha, you know what? I’m going to go with Yes. I think Sleepaway Camp is worth watching. I really enjoyed it.

I went in expecting a low budget 80s slasher movie and, while it is certainly that, there’s a whole gender/sexuality angle to this movie that I was not expecting. When a makeout session starts getting serious the movie defends the girl’s right to say “No.” And it does so once again later when the roles are reversed when a boy decides that he doesn’t want things to get that serious. There’s a gay couple shown in a positive light (this was in the early 80s remember so that ain’t nothing). The girl that any other horror movie would have called a slut is only rebuked for being mean to others and never for liking to make out with guys. And more!

And then at the same time there are a couple of parts that go the opposite way. The most frightening character in the movie isn’t the killer, but a pedophile cook who at one point says refers to the kids as “baldies” and says “There ain’t no such thing as being too young.” I mean, we aren’t supposed to like the cook and you’d better believe he dies a horrible death, but his existence at a summer camp is profoundly disturbing. Not to mention the affair the camp director is shown to be having with a young camp counselor.

And then there’s the ending! I won’t spoil it, but I will say I definitely did NOT see that one coming. And yet I can’t tell if the ending is bizarrely progressive or horribly out-of-touch. I honestly think there are compelling arguments on both sides and I’d understand no matter which someone felt about it.

So there you have it. It’s not a very scary or action-packed movie, but it still somehow manages to be a really enjoyable slasher. The deaths are are all eerily grounded and I think the main character Angela is one of the more intriguing horror leads I’ve come across.

“Eat shit and die, Ricky!”

“Eat shit and live, Bill.”

Friday the 13th

Camp Crystal Lake has been closed ever since a string of deaths shut it down. But now someone’s getting the place camp-ready once again. The camp counselors might be able to handle some kids, but serial killers? Not so much.

Fright Factor:
1.8 / 5 Shitty camps

Gore Factor:
3 / 5 Slabs of Bacon

Should you watch it?:


...well, if you’re a big horror fan you should see it at least once. But for everyone else, just don’t bother.

You wouldn’t think a movie about a serial killer could manage to be so boring, and you’d be wrong! This movie is incredibly dull. For 4/5s of the movie there’s no explanation of who the killer is and it turns out the killer is just some random person who wasn’t alluded to at all.

Also I thought that when people did the “Chi chi chi chi ha ha ha ha” thing to imitate this movie they were just imitating the music. But that’s actually what that is! The “creepy” theme is someone literally just saying that. WTF!?

The whole thing is just a lazy attempt to follow in Halloween’s footsteps that completely falls on its face.

“It’s not bad enough to have Friday the 13th, we’ve gotta have a full moon too. We keep statistics. We have more accidents, more rapes, more robberies, more homicides, more of everything when there’s a full moon. It upsets people. Makes them nuts.”


A young boy who can talk to ghosts is tasked with defending his town from a witch’s curse, but soon discovers that things aren’t always what they seem.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Curses

Gore Factor:
1 / 5 Rotting zombies

Should you watch it?:


ParaNorman is one of my favorite animated movies. Studio Laika is one of the most ambitious animation studios out there and it really shows. I’ve loved stop-motion animation ever seen my grandma would show me Nick Park’s Aardman Animation stuff. And I’m so happy to see it taken to such amazing heights.

I like this movie so much that I don’t even know where to begin telling you that you should watch it. Just...just watch it. It’s so cool. It’s got really amazing stop-motion animation, tons of great laughs, plenty of Horror movie fun, and the climax of the movie is one of my absolute is just so good.

The movie is just like this brilliant combination of The Goonies, Hocus Pocus, and Night of the Living Dead.

“Mom, tell the Zombie to stop saying stuff about me!”


Kylie Bucknell has just been sentenced to 8 months house arrest under her mom’s roof. And as if being locked up in a house with her mom wasn’t bad enough, she’s starting to think the place might be haunted too.

Fright Factor:
2.5 / 5 Mothers

Gore Factor:
3 / 5 Carving forks

Should you watch it?:

Unequivocally, YES.

I’ve already seen this movie once this year and here I am watching it again because it is just that enjoyable. Heck, I’d be 100% okay with watching it again. I am not entirely sure I am capable of getting sick of this movie. Why do I love this movie let me count the ways:

1.) There is just something about New Zealand accents that makes any movie amazing.

2.) It keeps you on your toes. It masterfully leads you from one assumption to another.

3.) The characters are so good! They are so well written and well acted.

4.) It has a perfect balance of humor/horror. They never reach for a joke, but instead fit the humor naturally into a scene. Which is perfect, because the humor is amazing and there, but it never detracts from the mystery of the movie.

5.) Oh, I could list things I like about this thing all day long, so suffice it to say that if I was capable of making a horror movie I would want it to be like Housebound. It is creepy and silly and warm all at the same time. And the worse thing I can say about it is that the writer/director hasn’t done any other movies!

“You know, the closed mind is the worst defense against the paranormal, Kylie. What are you gonna do against a hostile spirit? You just gonna crack jokes?”

“No, I am going to smash it in the face.”

Session 9

A hazardous materials elimination company is hired to fix up a dilapidated former insane asylum. But as tensions on the job grow begin to worry that there are worse things than stress in these halls.

Fright Factor:
2 / 5 Psychotic breaks

Gore Factor:
2 / 5 Lobotomies

Should you watch it?:

If you’re looking for something to watch while you’re...I dunno, carving a pumpkin or something, then sure.

It’s not so much scary as it makes you afraid to work in asbestos removal. Also I can’t separate David Caruso from CSI: Miami enough to take him too seriously.

That being said there are some great bits. The storyline told in the recorded tapes is really quite creepy and well done. And, best of all, the movie was actually shot at an actual abandoned insane asylum! So the whole thing has this kind of real creepiness stemming from the fact that some of the horrible stuff they’re talking about actually happened there. The building itself is more of a star than any of the characters.

“What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?”

“You mean aside from coming to work for you?”

The Last Exorcism

A preacher feels remorse for doping true believers and sets out to make a documentary exposing exorcisms as the dangerous shams they are. In order to do that he agrees to do one last exorcism in order to illustrate how it’s done ends. However, the case he chooses ends up being much more complicated than he had anticipated.

Fright Factor:
3.3 / 5 True believers

Gore Factor:
2.5 / 5 Livestock mutilations

Should you watch it?:

Yes...unless you hate handy-cam horror.

This movie does such a great job of not revealing its hand. Is this girl really possessed? Is she just faking it? The movie bounces you back and forth between these questions in a really satisfying way.

Not to mention that the cast is really quite outstanding. Patrick Fabian as the ever charming huckster preacher and Ashley Bell as the troubled young girl are particularly on point. There are so many subtleties to their performances that I really love.

The story of this preacher is a really fascinating one. Because here you have this guy who was raised on faith and finds out that that very faith is used to exploit others, that he’s been exploiting others. He’s trying to use that insight to help people, but then he gets stuck in a situation where the belief he instills creates a terrible feedback loop wherein people’s belief continually forces him back into the character he’s created, but the character just generates more belief.

My only real beef with the movie is the ending. They build such a great tension throughout this movie and then they basically throw it all out the window with one big ridiculous note. It’s the horror movie equivalent of if a romance movie had the main guy shit his pants right when he was telling the girl how much he loves her and then ran/waddled off to go to the bathroom...and then rolled credits. I won’t spoil it, but I will say that it’s my most hated one of the horror movie standard endings.

YET despite the piece of crap ending, the movie still has legs. Everything up to the ending is really well done and had me pretty creeped out. As long as you can handle the jostling handy-cam style of the film it’s definitely worth watching.

“I’m not comfortable that we’re in a house with someone who’s doing pictures of my head being chopped off.”

The Nightmare Before Christmas

The pumpkin king of Halloween Town has gotten bored with Halloween and decides to give Christmas a try.

Fright Factor:
1 / 5 Pumpkin Kings

Gore Factor:
1 / 5 Oogie Boogies

Should you watch it?:

You mean you haven’t already? Do you live under a rock? How do you get wi-fi done there? Should I drop off some more grubs and roots for you this Christmas?

While technically I’d say the movie is more of a Christmas movie than a Halloween one, it’s material is certainly Spooky so I’m going to count it.

The Nightmare Before Christmas is not only a brilliant and incredibly iconic piece of stop-motion animation, it is also one of my all time favorite musicals. Danny Elfman composed the music, wrote the lyrics, and provided the singing voice of the main character, and he just knocks it right out of the park. The music is so much fun and everso catchy.

Not to mention that I’m a total sucker for any movie that tries to be both funny and incredibly dark. I mean, there is a whole song about 3 sinister trick-or-treaters discussing all the horrible things they could do to Santa Claws! And it is delightful! How could anyone not love such a movie? yourself a favor and see this movie. But if you want to wait until Christmas time to do it? Well that is certainly okay with me.

“There’s children throwing snowballs / instead of throwing heads / they’re busy building toys / and absolutely no one’s dead!”

Dawn of the Dead
[extended version]

The dead have begun coming back to life and feasting on the living. The civilized world held out for some time, but society has begun to break down. A group of 4 people decide to flee the city and end up finding sanctuary in a shopping mall. But with the undead surrounding them their sanctuary soon becomes a self-made prison.

Fear Factor:
2 / 5 Malls

Gore Factor:
3.4 / 5 Bites to eat

Should you watch it?:

Without a doubt you should watch Dawn of the Dead.

I remember the first time I saw this movie and I left it a little bit shocked and a tad confused. It was definitely not at all how I imagined it would be. I was thinking it would be...well, essentially what the Dawn of the Dead remake turned out to be. Lots of action and crazy gore and whatnot. But the movie is this strange creature that teeters between slow-paced bleak depression and manic insanity. It refuses to be pinned down as it weaves between horror, wacky humor, gore, despair, action, and even poignant cultural observations.

Plus it has some really great and fully formed characters. No one’s a stock stereotype and seeing the way they all handle situations differently is really interesting.

Most zombie movies are all about surviving the zombies. But in Dawn it’s more about surviving in general. About the lengths people will go to to survive and the cost survival takes on them. There are whole extended bits where no one’s worried about zombies attacking and often those are the scenes that are the most disturbing. They’ll see the zombies outside and it’s just this horrible reminder about what’s waiting for them out there. But the more they stay inside the more it begins to feel like the mall that’s been keeping them safe isn’t a sanctuary but a tomb.

Dawn of the Dead is my favorite Zombie movie. Night of the Living Dead certainly created the framework for the zombie genre, but Dawn is the one that really fleshed it out and really showed that it was a genre capable of telling some really interesting types of stories.

“Many have died, last week, on these streets. In the basement of this building, you will find them. I have given them the last rites. Now, you do what you will. You are stronger than us. But soon, I think they be stronger than you. When the dead walk, señores, we must stop the killing... or lose the war.”


--Keep in mind that ratings operates on a sliding scale. These are the basic guidelines and then things like Realism and Execution can raise or lower the base score.--

Guide to Fright Factor ratings:

0 - You’ve accidentally gotten a horror movie confused with your Yoga workout DVD.

1 - Sure there’s some “spooky” imagery/themes in here, but the same could be said of the Halloween section of a department store.

2 - You have started to feel afraid for the characters in the movie. Because...for the love of God, why are they splitting up? The killer is behind you! LOOK BEHIND YOU!

3 - The fear of the film has escaped into your real world. You’ll still go in the water, sure, but not with the same carefree abandon you once did.

4 - My door is locked, right? And the windows? I’m just going to go double check. Did...did you hear something? Ha ha...ha...have you seen my baseball bat?

5 - I’m going to need you to hold my hand to ground me in reality please. Just...oh dear sweet baby Jesus...oh, we’re all going to die. Why did I think I was brave enough to watch this?

Guide to Gore Factor ratings:

0 - Rom-com Level gore.
You might see such horrors as a sprained ankle or a newly delivered baby!

1 - Monster Level gore.
You’ll probably see some ooky-looking monsters. Possibly a touch of blood, perhaps even see a shadow doing something suggestive of violence to another shadow, but you probably really won’t be seeing anything worse than a cut.

2 - “I’m Serious” Level gore.
Here you might start to see the film trying to prove that their threat is really serious! They’ll show some some post-attack wounds or some blood sprays, but you’ll never see the actual infliction of the wound UNLESS the weapon is a knife. Horror films love knives so they can have “Oh! He cut her arm that means he’s serious”-kind of stuff, where a fake knife and some blood packets suggest a lot without really showing anything that bad. You might also see something like a person someone transforming into a monster, a monster transforming into an even oogier monster, someone getting an injection, or even a corpse of some sort.

3 - Witness Level gore.
Now we begin to see wounds actually being inflicted. You might see someone get bit or something lobbed off. Probably a fair bit of blood is being thrown around. Maybe even some organs making a brief appearance. The gorier bits are generally very quick though.

4 - WTF! Level gore.
At this level the movie is showing exaggerated levels of gore and trying to elicit a visceral reaction from you. It will undoubtedly feature all sorts of over-the-top crazy-ass shit that you really will never see in your lifetime (thank God). Maybe a head will be torn in two, maybe a person eaten alive, perhaps even an unfortunate encounter with some farm equipment or something!

5 - Look Away Level gore.
This movie has 100% completely crossed the point of no return and entered the realm of nightmarish blood bath. They are purposefully showing you all the grotesque shit they can think of in order to gross you the fuck out. Expect long-shots of really fucked-up things happening to people, and to be left with not only a queasy stomach, but also a sense that whoever made this movie has some serious issues.

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