Soapbox Speeches: Twilight Sucks

      I could rant all day about why Twilight is horrible, but I won't. I am just not qualified enough on the subject. I have made 2 attempts to read Twilight and they have both ended in failure. My first attempt resulted in me reading one page and then walking away from it to sit in a corner and worry deeply about all the people I know who love that book. After taking a few minutes to gather myself I tried again. This time I made it to page 3, whereupon I decided that I just couldn't bring myself to impose that level of punishment against my brain.

      With only 3 pages of Twilight under my belt, my knowledge is primarily secondary. As such, I won't make you sit and listen as I complain about the things I've heard. I will, however, take a moment to point out a couple people who do have firsthand experience with Twilight. They are more skillful than I am anyhow.

Alex Day Reads Twilight

      Alex Day is a video blogger who decided to film himself reading Twilight and record his reactions to it. It is, in short, hilarious. It is basically what you would get if Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed a book instead of a movie. If you're like me, curious about Twilight but unable to actually read it, then this is perfect. You get all the plot and a million times the laughs.

• Here's the collection of his Twilight videos.

Reasoning With Vampires

      A friend of mine just sent me the link to this site today. It is a blog where the author has done what the editors should have and taken a red pen to the Twilight books. With both wit and interesting typography she points out the books' many, many failings. I have actually written this whole post largely as an excuse to share this link.

• Here is a link to the main site.
• And here is a link to an interesting interview with the site's author.