Sunday, October 23, 2016

31 Days of Spooky Movies: Child's Play

Day #11

Child’s Play

An evil doll is bitten by a radioactive 6-year old and gains the proportional strength, speed, and reflexes of a little boy.

[Okay, okay, fine! That’s not true. It’s about really about...]

A murderer uses his dying breath to transport his soul into a doll. Now he seeks revenge on those responsible for his death...and the young boy who took him in.

Fright Factor:
1.7 / 5  Stupid Dolls

Gore Factor:
1.5 / 5 Stabby McStabbykins

Should you watch it?

Ummm...I’m gonna go with Yes.

It’s not actually scary or particularly well made, but if you’re looking for something ridiculous and 80sy then look no further.

I mean, seriously, think about it: it’s a doll! Sure it can catch you by surprise or make people think you’re crazy, but other than that you kind of have a serious upper hand here. And yeah, sure, I guess he knows some “voodoo” magic, but even that requires you to have made a number of terrible decisions to even get him into a position where he can use it.

Which brings up the biggest of the movie’s inherent flaws: in order to compensate for the fact that a living doll isn’t frightening (or formidable) the filmmakers have to go WAY out of their way to get Chucky into situations where he can be competently menacing.

You know that gag in the Naked Gun movies where someone would throw something stupid at a character and they’d pretend it was actually effective? That’s essentially Chucky fights in a nutshell.

Although, to be fair...there is one truly scary scene in the moive: the one where the kid tries to make breakfast by himself. It is hard to watch. The kid is spilling stuff everywhere, almost starting fires, and putting a truly freakish amount of sugar on his cereal. It’s nerve wrecking to watch.

In summary: a great one to laugh at with friends, but just go into it knowing that it’s not so much scary as it is silly.

“Talk to me.


Come on, talk!


I said, ‘talk to me,’ dammit!


All right. I’ll make you talk!


I said talk to me dammit or else I’m gonna throw you in the fire!”



  1. I love that the one scary part of the movie is mostly horrifying from a parental perspective.

    1. I wouldn't say from a "parental perspective," as I do not have such a perspective, but more scary from an "rational human being perspective?" I'm telling ya, if anyone made you that breakfast it would be a true nightmare! ;)