A Smattering of Poems

Once again I've come to deposit some of the poems I've posted on Facebook here in the vault. I've been experimenting with style and form a little bit. Trying new things and all that jazz.

The Cashier's Prayer

Now I clock right in to work,

And pray the Lord to spare the jerks.

But if I lose it before I'm through,

I pray the Lord will at least spare you.

Damp Lullabies

The bath is warm and inviting.

It holds me close and gently whispers

Sloshing lullabies.

Who could resist such comfort and wealth of being?

If I were to leave now

I would leave,

albeit sadly,

With the warmth of sweet memories

As my bedfellows.

But if I were,

Instead,

to give in and fully embrace my situation,

to let my consciousness drift off into the waves.

Then I’ll be forced to bear witness to

The End.

To awaken to a world of dark absence.

To wake up

Cold

and wet

and alone.

Left to stumble out,

Waterlogged and deprived of warmth,

and attempt a proper sleep

while the back of my mind loudly dreads

What it’ll wake up to this time.

So, perhaps,

for once,

I’ll indulge in non-indulgence.

I’m starting to get pruney, anyhow.

Faceplant Romance

You’ve tripped me up.

You’ve knocked me down.

I can’t trust myself when you’re around.

I’m falling for you,

How ‘bout you fall for me?

Who cares if our friends might disagree.

Let’s fall in bed,

Let’s fall in love,

Let’s feel the heat

‘til we get a shove.

Let’s fall apart as we hit the street

And spill our asses onto concrete.

Road rashes and bruises

All our own,

To remind us that we don’t have to be alone.

Two left feet,

May I have this dance?

Let’s two-step to a faceplant romance.

I’ve already fallen

and can’t stop the descent,

But if you join me we can circumvent;

You fall for me and I’ll fall for you,

We’ll orbit each other like Pluto’s moon.

And then in time

when our world’s collide

We’ll just feel relief for leaving nothing untried.

So let’s fall in bed,

Let’s fall in love,

Let’s feel the heat

‘til we get that shove.

Let’s fall apart as we hit the street

And spill our asses onto concrete.

Road rashes and bruises

All our own,

Reminding us that we weren’t always alone.

Movie List 2013: 1 - 5

* = rewatched

1.*

Hot Fuzz

Nicholas Angel is a hotshot cop from the city, but when his tenacity starts to make the department look bad they send him to a small town in order to get him out of their hair. However, things in this quiet hamlet might not be as peaceful as he was led to believe.

Shaun of the Dead : Zombie Movies
Hot Fuzz : Action Movies

Nuff said.

Nicholas Angel.

Don't forget your friends and guns.

...For the greater good.

2.*

Home Alone

During the Christmas holiday season a young boy is accidentally left home alone when his family goes on vacation to Paris. When robbers decide to rob the boy's house, it's up to the boy to defend it.

Remember when Macaulay Culkin was not only a cute little kid, but the cute little kid? Honestly, if you haven't seen Home Alone then you should probably sit down and rethink your life choices. It's not only one of the greatest Christmas movies ever made, it's also one of the greatest slapstick comedies ever made.

My family's gone?

Its my house, I must defend it.

I'm not scared anymore.

3.

Jingle All the Way

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad play terrible fathers who are desperate to get their kids a hot new toy for Christmas.

My roommate is convinced that this is a secretly brilliant movie. It's certainly not a good movie, but I've gotta admit there's something bizarrely terrible about it that is kind of enjoyable. Plus the fact that it takes place in Minnesota adds a whole nother layer [there is honestly a scene where Arnold supposedly pushes his car from downtown Minneapolis to downtown St. Paul, but I don't think they wanted us to notice that.] I don't even know what to tell you. It's a certainly a train wreck, but who doesn't want to gawk at train wrecks from time to time?

Jamie, listen up,

It's not that I don't love you,

I'm just a bad dad. 

4.

Django Unchained

A freed slave teams up with a German bounty hunter in order to rescue his wife from a cruel plantation owner.

Quentin Tarantino directed this movie. That's an important thing to know. I can't remember who, but someone described this movie as being a master's class in violence. Violence as revenge, violence as fun, violence as horror, violence as catharsis, etc. I really wish I could remember who pointed this out, because it's a rather brilliant point. The movie is a perfect balancing act between action and comedy, fantasy and reality, horror and romance. Did I mention the acting is all around superb? Anyways, I loved this movie. I'd say it's my favorite Quentin Tarantino movie. I'd also say it's one of my favorite 2012 movies.

Sure I saw it in 2013, but still. The point stands.

Kill some white people,

Be a badass, save the day.

Now this job I like.

5.

Grosse Point Blank

A depressed hit man attends his high school reunion and tries to win the heart of his high school love while surviving attempts on his life.

I'm not sure how I made it so long without having ever seen this movie. I mean, it's got John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Alan Arkin, Minnie Driver, Hank Azaria, and Dan Aykroyd? That's a cast right there. I don't really know what to say. It had me at "A comedy about John Cusack as a hit man" and it did not disappoint. The whole thing is just a whole lot of fun.

I love your daughter.

And have new respect for life.

Martin Blank: Hit man.

More Poetry

Tailwind

I wish I could control the wind,

for I would calm the seas

And we could go forth boldly,

together: you and me.

I wish that I could help you.

I wish that I could fill your sails.

I wish you didn't have to struggle.

I wish that I could ease your ails.

But though I wish

I know I can't.

I can't control the waves

and I cannot bend the winds.

I cannot change your fate

or save you from chagrin.

But I can sit beside you

and I can hold your hand.

And we can be lost together

as we drift towards unknown lands.

Poetical Shorts

I've been posting a fair number of poems on Facebook recently, so I figured I'd collect some of the shorter ones and post them here for posterity's sake.

Afraid of Everything

I'm afraid of failure

and I also fear of success.

I'm afraid to be too happy,

but I'm afraid to be depressed.

I'm afraid that I'm no good

and I'm afraid that I'm an ass.

I'm afraid of beauty

because I'm afraid that I'm too crass.

I'm afraid of all these things,

and I'm afraid it's true,

that I'm afraid of me

and I'm even more afraid of you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Staff Selection*

Cider! Cider! amber bright,

Set aglow by fridge's light;

What immortal hand or eye

Could frame thy scrumptious symmetry?

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looping

I'm never going to learn my lesson,

I'm never going to see the end.

I'm just gonna make the same mistakes

again and again

and again

and again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So

So you're lovely.

So you're smart.

So you smell nice

and make art.

So you're messy.

So you snore.

So you can't cook

and slam the door.

So you're caring

and well-read.

So you're soft

and great in bed.

So you get sad

and never say.

So you're awkward

and lose your way.

So your laugh

and so your voice.

So your eyes

make me rejoice.

So you're perfect.

So you're not.

And so I love you

quite a lot.

*Very clearly parodying William Blake's brilliant poem The Tyger here.

State of the Blog Address (2013)

What? I haven't updated this blog in months? FINE! I'll do a post.

...you're such a nag.



It seems that I must break out of the haze of my life and once again meet with you all for the annual state of the blog address.

I apologize for the prolonged absence. Things have a way of getting out of hand for me, and when they don't I seem to take up the slack and get in my own way.

Looking back on last year's address I can't help but notice that I accomplished 0 of my goals. Not a single one. I mean, I still have yet to finish the Book List for the year. Heck, I still have yet to finish the vastly smaller and easier Movie List.

The end of a year is always a busy time and the holidays always find a way to consume my time. When I wasn't working one of my three jobs, I was trying to deal with the holidays, and when I wasn't doing either of those things I was single-handedly producing a screening of The Iron Giant. And after that...well, after that I just didn't feel like posting anything.

But, regardless, I'm going to try to do better this year!

The key word there is: Try.


Here are some of my goals:

• I will finish up last year's book and movie lists, although I have quite a backlog to go through so I'm going to be doing much shorter and basic reviews without many quotes. Because otherwise it would just take forever.
• I plan on doing many more little things, instead of attempting large things which I inevitably fail to complete and then abandon in a rage. So I'm going to try to do little things that I can actually finish. As such the Facebook page will be the best place to go to for more consistent updates. However, I do plan to post the more polished pieces and finished collections onto the blog.
• I also plan on doing more poems, because poems are one of the few things that I can look back on and not despise utterly.
• I'm going to try to continue my Book List. Although I've been trying to create more and consume less, so it'll probably be a bit smaller than usual.

Other than those there are a ton of bigger things I have in mind, but we'll see how many of those turn out. I'm going to try to get myself back in the habit of making things and then hopefully I'll be able to start scaling up to bigger and better things.

So there you have it.

Let's make some stuff happen this year, people!

Movie List 2012: October

*rewatched

October

100.*

Hocus Pocus

3 dorky kids accidentally bring a family of witches back to life. Now they have to prevent the witches from stealing the life force of the town's children or risk them gaining immortality.

Genre: Halloween


It's extremely hard to explain why I love this movie so much, but I do. In fact I would go as far as saying that it is a perfect movie.

By perfect movie, I'm not saying it's better than Citizen Kane or whatever. I'm saying that it is a perfect testament to its genre. You will not find a better kid-friendly Halloween movie than Hocus Pocus.

Now I know some people out there will chalk up my love of this movie to nostalgia and perhaps they have a point. But I'm pretty sure it goes deeper than that. The movie straddles so many divides. It's this perfect blend of cheesy and heartfelt, of This-is-ridiculous funny and This-is-really-clever funny, of cliche and original, of television special and movie. Its portrayal of the lighthearted side of darkness is everything Halloween is about for kids.

But whatever. I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU!

101.*

The Thing

A shape-changing, infectious life form infiltrates a research station in the Antarctic. The scientists there desperately try to kill it while also trying to figure out if the people around them are really what they appear.

Genre: Horror


John Carpenter's The Thing is my 2nd favorite horror movie of all time. It's brilliant. It has all the elements I love in my horror movies; it's got physical effects, it's got a lot of slow and tense scenes that really milk the anxiety out of you, and it's full of memorable moments. And you know what? It just gives me the heebie jeebies. I mean serial killers, ghosts, demons, whatever; none of them hold a candle to this thing. It's like the embodiment of the phrase "What the f*** is that!?"

Plus Kurt Russell is the star and he is amazing!

PLUS he has the greatest hat in cinematic history. It is a hat of legends.

102.*

Sherlock Holmes

An action-oriented interpretation of Sherlock Holmes in which the consulting detective and Watson try to bring an occult murderer to justice.

Genre: Action/Comedy


My reason for rewatching this one requires some explanation. You see, I saw the pilot to the American  show Elementary which is a remake of the British TV show Sherlock.

And I hated it.

Not only did I hate it, I hated everything about it. And most of all I hated the fact that it was trying SO hard to be Sherlock (which, by the way, is an absolutely brilliant adaptation of Sherlock Holmes). Any unique elements it had were obvious attempts to distance itself far enough from Sherlock so that they don't get sued. And the only thing worse than doing an adaptation of a book without any unique vision or interpretation to offer, is to do an adaptation of an adaptation of a book without having any unique vision or interpretation to offer.

And all this annoyance, made me start thinking about other versions of Sherlock Holmes, which inevitably lead me to Guy Ritchie's version. And as I compared it to Elementary I found myself defending it: despite the fact that I'm not a fan.

And after watching it again, I've gotta say, despite its many, many faults; and its terribly misguided interpretation, Ritchie clearly had a vision of the source material. He may of decided to emphasize a lot of the wrong things, but gosh-darn-it the man had a vision. And because of that the film works. Overall I'm not a fan, but I do respect what its done. And that's the big difference right there.

So yeah. If you try to view it the same way you'd view the source material, you'll find this movie is terrible. They make Sherlock Holmes ridiculous and silly in the name of comedy, and they make him rely on fighting prowess to get himself out of the many ill thought out situations he finds himself in. Which, decidedly, isn't Sherlock Holmes at all. But if you take it for what it is and don't take it too seriously, cut off from the source, then its a pretty fun movie. It's got some really cool actions scenes, the Watson-Holmes dynamic is pretty wonderful, and the whole thing is pretty funny.

103.*

Wimbledon

An aging tennis player is competing in his last tournament before he gives up on professional tennis. But when he meets a young tennis star he's given a reason to give it everything he's got.

Genre: Sports movie that's not really about sports


Wimbledon is one of my most favorite movies. And like a lot of my favorite movies it's hard to describe why. For instance if one were to compare it to Moneyball (another sports movie that's not really about sports) one would find that Moneyball is the vastly better movie. The writing is better, the acting is better, the cinematography is better. And yet none of that matters because I just like Wimbledon more. I relate to it more, it's easier to watch, it stays with me more, and it's a collection of genres which makes it easy to watch in multiple circumstances.

I don't know. Like any movie like this I could go on and on about why I like it, but I don't really see the point. I'm super biased and pretending to review it as if I'm not would just be silly.

104.

Megamind

A supervillain accidentally destroys his nemesis and being without an equal leaves him feeling incomplete. However, when he attempts to create a new nemesis things go horribly wrong and he's forced into the role of hero in order to save the city.

Genre: Goofy animated kids' movie


Oh, my goodness. This is another one of those movies that I kept hearing really good things about. And once again, I've gotta say: HIGHLY OVERRATED.

I mean, really. It isn't bad or anything, but it's not amazing. I'm kind of just barely saying that it's even good here. It's just doofy. I love a lot of Will Ferell movies, but I'll be the first one to say that a ton of them are crap. There's this whole genre based around the formula of Will Ferrell Is A Silly [NOUN]: Will Ferrell is a silly basketball player, Will Ferell is a silly figure skater, Will Ferrell is a silly racecar driver, anchorman, elf, super villain; you see what I'm saying here? Whether or not movies in this subgenre work or not largely depends on two things: if the plot actually has legs of its own or if it's riding completely on his back, and if his costars can give as good as they get.

I guess the plot here has some legs, I mean they're super cliche legs, but still. The main problem is that there is absolutely no one supporting Ferrell out there. I mean sure you've got Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, David Cross, and Brad Pitt, but they're given such impossibly bland characters that they've got nothing to work with. I mean, normally I love all those people, but in this movie they're all terrible and bland, bland, bland.

Actually...no I take that back. I actually really enjoyed the Will Ferrell/Brad Pitt dynamic, but it's absent from the vast majority of the movie.

If you really love Will Ferrell movies maybe you'll like this one, but I wouldn't go in expecting too much.

105.

Pontypool

The crew of an early morning radio station start to get increasingly strange reports coming in from the surrounding areas. A horrifying infection is sweeping through the town, not through any normal means, but through language.

Genre: Linguistic Zombie Movie


I watched this one because Joey Comeau listed it on his Halloween list of "Some Good Rape-free Horror Movies" list and Joey Comeau has absolutely amazing taste.

I've gotta say this is one of the greatest horror movies I've seen in quite some time.

Admittedly it definitely isn't for everyone, but it certainly has my number. There's all this atmospheric horror, and all these moments where the scary parts aren't the things that are happening on screen, but the things they're conjuring in your mind. Add in the first unique take on zombies since "Hey, what if they were fast?" and you've got me hook-line-and-sinker.

It's atmospheric, it's intriguing, it's got great characters, and it's definitely unique. I don't know what else you could want. Also don't watch the trailer for this movie. The trailer is terrible. I loved this movie, but if I had seen the trailer before I had seen the movie I would have written it off. It's a just plain terrible trailer.

Linguistic Zombie Movie. If you need to hear anything more than that then maybe this one isn't for you.

Movie List 2012: September

* = rewatched

September

93.*

Labyrinth

A young girl's baby brother is kidnapped by the Goblin King. Now she must navigate her way through a labyrinth in order to rescue him.

Genre: 80's lovechild of David Bowie and Jim Henson.


You know what? I never noticed this movie's prominent featuring of David Bowie's package until a few years ago when this video pointed it out. Now that it's been pointed out to me, however, I can't help but notice. And now that I've mentioned it to you, you won't be able to either.

Good luck with that.

Anyways, I have some mixed feelings about this movie. It doesn't work on most of the levels I'm usually looking for in stories. The characters are all rather cut-and-dry, the plot is extremely simple, and you know what, I'm just gonna say it: the songs are weird—not bad, mind you, just really bizarrely inserted into scenes.

And by all rights I shouldn't like it. But dammit if Jim Henson wasn't one superbly creative genius. The plot only has 4 beats (Kidnapped, Labyrinth Tasks, Rescue Scene, Happily Ever After), and the Tasks one dominates the vast majority. Yet somehow Henson creates such imaginative and memorable visuals that the plot of "Overcome puzzles" becomes interesting to watch.

I might knock it around a bit, but it is a classic. And like any true classic you just can't quite put my finger on what it is that makes it that way. It really is memorable and quite fun and if you haven't seen it I think it's definitely worth a watch.

94.

Batman Mask of the Phantasm

A masked killer is murdering members of crime syndicates, but will Batman let an old flame distract him from solving the case?

Genre: Animated TV show brought to big screen


I've always heard such good things about this movie and yet had never gotten around to watching it. But recently I was reading a bunch of Batman comics and finally found myself in the mood to see what it was all about. And you know what?

HIGHLY OVERRATED.

My goodness, I predicted the identity of the Phantasm so fast it wasn't even funny. I really don't get what the fuss over this movie is. It's basically just an extended episode of Batman: The Animated Series. Now, Batman: The Animated Series was a brilliant show, but it was a television show and this is a movie. Correction: This is a movie done in the exact style of a television show.

I think I need a comparison. Let's use Cowboy Bebop. Cowboy Bebop was an amazing cartoon and it had a movie made after the series was done. While the movie has all the elements you loved from the show, it was a Movie. The animation was nicer than ever, the plot was bigger and the stakes were higher than normal. It really made use of the format. Batman, however, had normal TV cartoon animation, the plot was no different than a normal episode of the show, and the stakes were also no different than a typical episode. It doesn't make use of the format and if you weren't told you'd probably think it was a two-part episode of the show.

If you like the show, you'll like the movie. It isn't bad and it isn't great, but it just doesn't have the scale a full-length-released-in-theaters movie should have. There were some interesting elements wherein Batman struggles with whether or not he should continue along the path he's created, but I felt they weren't brought to fruition.

In the end this just reminds me of a watered down version of the great graphic novel Batman: The Long Halloween.

95.

Robot & Frank

Set in the near future an ex-burglar named Frank is suffering from senility is given a personal care robot to look after him. At first the Luddite Frank hates the idea, until he learns that perhaps it is the perfect tool for an old thief.

Genre: Alzheimer sci-fi buddy comedy.

This is such an unusual movie.

What's more is that it's unusual for a number of reasons. The story it's telling is much smaller than most movies you see. Not to mention  that the extremely-near-future setting is one you don't see too often; most people preferring the deep future or the present. And the fact that it's a buddy comedy that deals with a serious topic like Alzheimer's through a sci-fi heist set-up. I mean...where did this thing come from?

I'm not knocking it or anything, in fact I really enjoyed it, but I want to compare it to something and I'm a bit at a loss here. So if you're in the mood to see something really unique that's both amusing and touching, I'd highly recommend you check out this one. It's funny, it's touching, and it's quite unlike anything else.

95.

Sleepwalk With Me

A struggling comedian's relationship stress begins manifesting itself through vivid and increasingly dangerous bouts of sleep walking.

Genre: Indie comedy

If you're familiar with the This American Life regular Mike Birbigula then you've probably already heard this story. And it's a pretty great story. One that deserves to have been told in so many mediums. In fact one of the things I love so much about this movie is that it has a voice all it's own. You can tell this was a product of love produced independently from the big studios, because a big studio would never have been able to tell a story like this properly. It was a blessing in disguise that Mike Birbigula starred and directed this movie, because it's his story to tell.

I've gotta say this was one of my favorite movies I've seen this year. It's weird and it's funny. I love all of the characters even when they're making bad decisions. It's fun, quirky, and when you're done watching it you continue to think about it because you'll have found that it really had something it say.

96.

De Vrais Mesonges

The owner of beauty salon receives a love letter. She then sends the letter to her depressed mother in order to make her feel better about herself. However, soon everything becomes rather complicated.

Genre: French...comedy?

So I stumbled across this one while working at the library. I saw it starred Audrey Tatou and the cover featured reviews saying that it was just like Amelie. And since Amelie is my favorite movie ever, I figured this one was worth a look.

But it wasn't.

It most definitely wasn't.

It's so bad. There isn't a single character who you don't start to hate by the end. Generally I love the whole mixed-up love polygon set-up, but here it's just creepy. They make it so, so very creepy. All the characters are petty assholes who seem to lack any real empathy.

I don't even want to talk about it anymore. Just trust me: It's awful. Don't watch it.

97.

From Dusk Till Dawn

A pair of fugitive brothers take a family hostage as they try to escape the US and get into Mexico. However, things take a turn for the worse when they stop to make a rendezvous at a trucker's bar that turns out to be a vampire feeding ground.

Genre: Over-the-top Action-Horror

You know, if ever there was a movie that was just an excuse for the crew to have fun, this is it. At first it's the story about these fugitive brothers, and then it takes up a different kind of angle with the kidnapping, and then suddenly there's vampires and things just get wild. It's kind of like the writer started out and along the way kept drinking and getting high; and so it just keeps getting exponentially wilder. As a movie I think it's a bit of a failure. The characters are all one-dimensional and the story is too mercurial to create anything even remotely meaningful. However, if you're having a drink and are in the mood for a piece of over-the-top ridiculous fun, then I'd highly recommend it.

98.

Looper

A crime syndicate uses time travel as way to get rid of the people they want to kill. They send the victims back in time where an assassin called a Looper is waiting to kill them and dispose of the bodies. The Loopers get paid well, but as part of their contract they know that eventually they'll have to kill their future self. However, one Looper's future self gets away and starts trying to track down the head of the syndicate as a child and change the future, while his past self is out to stop him.

Genre: Time-Travel Action


I would describe this movie as being a combination of Primer and Akira. I doubt most people will be familiar with both of those, but if you are then there you go.

It definitely wasn't what I was expecting. They play around a lot more with the possible repercussions of time-travel then I originally expected.

I had a great time with this one. My one big complaint is that they alter Joseph Gordon-Levitt's face to have him resemble Bruce Willis and for the life of me I couldn't stop thinking about it. It just looked so unnatural and I could never look at the character without thinking about the alterations. I guess I can see why they did it, but I'm pretty sure a lot more people spent this movie paying attention to the alterations, then would've paid attention to the fact that Levitt doesn't quite look like Willis. I mean, there is such a thing as the suspension of disbelief. If you tell me that they're the same guy at different periods in his life I'm willing to roll with it.

It's got an interesting set-up, the acting is all very good, the action is all very good, and it is all a lot of fun. If you like science fiction and action then you'll have a blast watching it.

99.*

Mystery Team

A group of former boy detectives, clinging to the former glory of their youth, try to solve a real case in order to prove themselves.

Genre: Quirky—and moderately raunchy—comedy


Have you ever seen the tv show Community? Well, Donald Glover (the actor who plays Troy) is the star of the film as well as one of the writers. So maybe that'll give you a little sense of what the movie is like.

It's a strange little film. It's really kind of bizarre, but that also seems to make it all the funnier. It isn't perfect. For instance I feel that the make these former boy detectives too ridiculous, to the point that you start to think that they must really have some sort of mental handicap...which just makes things really creepy.

But in the end, it's another indie comedy, and the thing I love about indie movies is that they're unique. It's not another cookie-cutter Hollywood movie. It goes places and does things you won't see in most comedies and I really enjoy it because of that. The acting is really good, the plot is really goofy and fun, and as you can imagine from a comedy there's plenty of hilarious jokes. So yeah, not perfect, but far better, far more endearing, and far more memorable than your usual comedy fare.