Dead Cat (i'm not sorry)

Dead Cat (i'm not sorry)

 

I don’t know how to tell you this
But your cat is rather dead.
I’m guessing that it happened
when my tire went through its head.

I’m sorry you’re upset,
But I’m not the one to blame.
You should’ve been a better owner
And you should be ashamed.

Now before you raise your fists
And make me sue you for assault,
Maybe you should stop and think
About how this is all your fault.

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I’m sorry that I’m not sorry,
but your cat was seriously depressed.
Very much unhappy and probably feeling rather stressed.

Maybe if you were a better person
You wouldn’t have to now sit and say goodbye
To that fatty little tabby with such an urge to die.

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I’m sure you’ll miss that kitty.
I’m sure you’ll miss its fur.
I’m sure you’ll miss the fun you had
And miss its little purr.

I’m sure that you tried your best
to love that little beast.
Although if you had tried a little harder
Your cat wouldn’t be deceased.

Now before you try giving me the boot,
I’ll just take a moment to say that I think you’re awfully cute.

So if you want to turn this pussy loss into a pussy win
I’ll just leave you with my number
In case you decide you’d like to take mine for a spin.

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I’m sorry that I’m not sorry,
but your cat was seriously depressed
Very much unhappy and probably feeling rather stressed.

Maybe if you were a better person
You wouldn’t have to now sit and say goodbye
To that fatty little tabby with such an urge to die.