Friday, April 17, 2009

Don't Put Cream In My Fruit

HELLO, JESSE.
Oh, hello brain. What's up?
IT'S AWFULLY WARM OUT AND YOU'VE BEEN WALKING FOR SOME TIME NOW.
Oh, it isn't so bad. Hope I don't end up too sweaty though.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
What?
YOU DESERVE A TREAT.
Hahaha don't worry about it.
NO, NO, YOU'VE BEEN WORKING HARD AND DESERVE SOMETHING.
Welllll, something fruity would be nice. Freddies is up ahead how about we stop in a get some fruity sort of drink?
YOU'RE THINKING TOO SMALL. WHAT WE NEED IS ICEES!
Icees!
THAT'S RIGHT MY LAD, ICEES. POP INTO THAT BURGER KING AND WE SHALL SUCK DOWN THAT SWEET NECTAR!
Yay! "One small-"
MAKE IT A LARGE.
"I mean one mediu-"
LARGE! THEY DON'T HAVE MEDIUM.
"Uh, I mean large cherry icee please."
"We don't have cherry. Only Coke. And Orange Cream."
"What?"
"Orange Cream"
"Orange Cream? "
GET IT. IT HAS ORANGE! ORANGE IS A FRUIT.
Cream means creamy, not fruity. I don't want a bunch of cream in my ice.
HMMM THAT IS TRUE...
"That's too weird...goodbye."
SsIiGgHh

Epilogue: Who on Earth thought it was a good business model to have icees, but not have cherry. Cherry is fucking classic! If I want to something with coke flavor I can just drink a freaking coke. I have checked out the official list of icee flavors and there are 21 flavors that would be preferable to Coke. Most of them I have never seen for sale. Others I have no idea what they are supposed to taste like. For instance: Country Red, Grapalicious, Golden Punch, Sweet-N-Tart, and Burgundy Grape. Do you know what flavor is depicted in all the pictures? Red...which is... probably cherry? I guess a lot of flavors are red and they are all delicious. Red is rad.

EDIT: I will address this question because I keep getting it: "Wouldn't an Orange Cream Icee taste like a creamsicle?" Answer: It would probably taste like you melted a creamsicle into a glass added some water and ice and then chugged it. Personally the taste might be ok, but ice cream should be solid...that's where the ICE part comes in.

1 comment:

  1. but.. but.. wouldn't it taste like a creamsicle?!!?!?!?!?! omg... that sounds sooo good.

    ReplyDelete