For some odd reason the fact that it is the last day of July makes me feel like I should do a post for today. However, this feeling is in direct conflict with the Fuck-The-World mindset I've got going. Earlier tonight I tried to do a good deed and it did not turn out well.
You see I was walking to the store to pick myself up something for dinner as I hadn't had anything to eat since the afternoon and my pickings are slim. Three-quarters of the way there I come across a stray kitten. I, on a rare occasion, will see a stray cat, but a kitten? That just seems too sad. While I wanted to help my desire not to see my own blood was even greater and my clothes were certainly not suited for going after stray animals. Plus it was super freaked out so approaching it seemed difficult. But I couldn't just do nothing. So I turned around and went back home to cover up some extremities and get some bait. I head back to where I first saw it and look around. Instead of in a great open spot like it had been before, it was now wandering around behind a fucking tall fence of a church. This means that my best bet for cornering it is gone. It was even hanging out in what has to be the perfect spot for cornering kittens. So there I sat on the sidewalk. A fenced in church to one side of me and a bunch of bushes to the other. Clearly this was going to be easy.
Long story short I spent 2½ hours trying to gain that kitten's trust so I could help it out. I came pretty close to nabbing it a couple of times, but the thing had the devil's luck. Eventually it lost its pseudo-interest in fucking with me and disappeared. So here I sit. I still haven't eaten as the store was closed by the time my adventure came to a close and my pickings are still quite slim. And I've got meat juice on my pants from the bait. Why did I even bother? What would I have done with it after I caught it? I have no clue. All I do know is that it would have been better off with me than it will hanging around an area of high traffic and frequented by dog walkers. Unlike the world I actually cared what happened to it. So there you have it. I tried my very best to do something nice and I failed. My best was just not good enough. A feeling I'm starting to get used to recently.
Thank you universe for putting me in a situation where I'm damned to feel guilty if I don't do anything and guilty when I do do something.
Also who the fuck gates a church? What kind of message does that send? A church is supposed to be the house of God, not the cage of God.